Impossible Reunions
by team-jacob-4-ever126
Summary: Sequel to Impossible Dreams. Bella and Edward's kids are growing up but not before dealing with love, loss, and pain. Thier journey's not over yet.
1. Bumps in the Road

**This takes places a couple months after Abby's 1st birthday. They'll be a couple of flashbacks to catch everyone up. I hope you like it and please review. Also check out my new story "Split Second". Thanks for sticking with me through everything and I hope you like it!**

My life has been nothing but pure happiness for the past couple of months. Edward and I have never been better. Ryan was healthy, although he didn't sleep well during the night. Edward was a hero at getting up at night so I could sleep. We were finally moved in to our new cottage with help from the family. I finally felt like my life was finally where I wanted it to be. The best thing of all is Edward finally agreed to change me in 1 month. Abby was a thriving, happy 1 year old and we couldn't be more pleased. She has even started to walk. Carlisle said she was a little late, that most babies started walking by 9 months. But said that since she was always being held by someone, she had no reason to walk. I remember when she took her first step.

_I was holding onto Abby's hands as Edward was sitting on the opposite side of me holding her favorite blanket._

"_Go walk to daddy" I whispered in her hair_

_She reached her hands out and took a step forward, falling but I reached out to catch her._

"_You can do it" Edward encouraged waving the blanket in front of her._

_By this point Rosalie and Esme had come into the room and were watching our attempt with amused expressions._

"_She won't do it" Rosalie laughed "You've been trying nonstop for days"_

"_Yes she will, she does has to get the hang of it" I was determined to prove them wrong_

"_Come get daddy" Edward cooed holding his arms out_

_This time a small crease formed between her eyes and she took another step, then another, then another. I gasped and clapped my hands together encouraging her to keep going. She made it to where Edward could grab her hand and she fell into his arms. _

"_My big girl" he hugged her "You did it"_

_We all clapped and she smiled a huge grin, knowing that she did it._

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Abby crying, indicating that she was up from her nap. I stood up from the rocking chair in Ryan's room, shutting the door on my way out. We've been trying to keep them on a sleeping schedule but so far it wasn't working. When I walked in she as standing up in her crib chewing on the bars.

"Hey don't bite that!" I scolded

She looked at me then smiled before continuing to bite on the wood. I sighed and walked over grabbing her from the crib. The down side of all this was she was destructive and we couldn't look away for 2 seconds without her breaking something. Yesterday Edward and I were watching TV in the living room and she somehow managed to walk into the dining room and knocked over one of Esme's vases. Luckily it fell on the opposite side of her so she wasn't hurt, but Esme wasn't too pleased. Edward was currently at the store buying a new one. I quickly changed her diaper and put her on the floor.

"Stay in the room" I told her sternly

I quickly made her crib and threw her diaper out and no doubt a loud thump sounded followed by crying.

"Damn it" I muttered rushing out of the room

Abby was lying under the bed in our room sprawled out on the floor. I quickly picked her up and saw that a bump was already forming on her head.

"Did you fall?" I cooed trying to calm her cries

She was screaming bloody murder but I knew the fall itself probably scared her more than anything. She grabbed onto my neck for dear life and I bounced her anxiously. I pulled her back and sure enough the bump was growing with increasing speed.

"Oh you really got your head huh?" I said reaching out to touch it "Let's go get you some ice"

I walked into the freezer to get her an Elmo ice pack. I grabbed a paper towel so it wouldn't be so cold. I went over to the couch and sat her in my lap, flipping on a cartoon to keep her mind off the ice. I held her arms away and placed the ice on her bump and she immediately screamed.

"No mommy" she cried pushing and kicking

"You need some ice; it'll make you feel better"

"No"

"Look, mommy will do" I placed the ice on my head to show her it was fine

After a couple of seconds I put it on hers and I had to hold her arms down but she finally let me leave it there. We sat watching cartoons for about 10 minutes till she was just whining.

"Hurt" she cried

"I know, you need to slow down. You're too rambunctious for your own good"

I heard the door open so Edward must have been home.

"Hello?" he called

"In the living room"

He rounded the corner but looked panicked as soon as he saw how we were sitting.

"What happened?"

"Miss Abigail here fell head first off our bed and has a pretty nasty bump" I explained

He kneeled down next to me and removed the ice from her head. She leaned away from him when he went to touch it.

"That a pretty big bump huh?" he sighed

"It looks much better then it did" I assured him

"Hurt" she said again

Edward looked at her sadly; even the slightest bump could get him upset.

"I know princess, do you want daddy to put ice on it?"

"Yea" she cried reaching out for him.

He sat down next to me and I placed her on his lap. She let him put the ice on her head much faster than she let me. Edward was whispering sweet nothings into her ear and she sat still playing with his free hand. I leaned on his shoulder and he kissed the top of my head.

"I guess she likes when I put ice on her head better"

"Shut up" I slapped his leg playfully

As if on cue Ryan started crying through the monitor needing to be fed.

"Right on time" I laughed

Ever since we brought Ryan home Edward and I haven't had any alone time. We were either running after Abby or Ryan, or being interrupted by the family. Even at night when both kids were asleep, I was too tired to do anything and usually crashed around 9. Ryan was kicking around in his crib and screaming, wanting to be picked up.

"Hi baby" I cooed

He was doing really well. His facial expression was so fun to watch, but I also got a kick out of the faces Edward made at him. He's still really tiny for his age but Carlisle said that he'd probably always be that way. We haven't had any issues with his shield since an incident with me.

_The one thing Ryan hated was having his diaper changed. He would kick and scream and do what ever he could to get out of it. It usually took both Edward and I to do it. I grabbed him out of his crib and laid him on the floor. He liked to squirm and I didn't want him falling off the changing table. I quickly undid his pajamas and no doubt he started screaming. _

"_I know baby"_

_Not to mention that he had a really bad diaper rash so it was probably even more painful. I quickly put some diaper rash cream on but just as it touched his bottom, he screamed, and before I knew it I was across the room. I landed on my arm pretty hard and I cried out._

"_What the hell?" Edward screamed running into the room_

_I looked back and Ryan's shield erupted from him. I don't understand, it was supposed to happen when he was in danger. I couldn't be the danger could i? No, there must be something outside he can sense. I immediately got panicky and looked at Edward who ran over._

"_Are you alright?" he worried helping me sit up_

"_No something's wrong, there's danger"_

_I tried to sit up on my hand but it hurt too much, of course he caught this._

"_Love everything's fine, no let me look at your arm please"_

_He probed it so delicately but it still hurt._

"_Ow" I hissed moving away from him_

"_Looks like you sprained your wrist. What were you even doing that this happened?"_

_He motioned to where Ryan shield was diffusing._

"_I was just changing his diaper and he started screaming and before I knew it I was over here" _

"_Let me go put him down for a nap" he quickly left me on the floor and I watched as he lifted him with ease and put him back in the crib._

"_Come on" he lifted me up from the floor and we walked into the bathroom where he pulled an ace bandage out from the cabinet. He easily lifted me up on the counter so he could wrap my wrist._

"_Only you Bella" he laughed_

_I didn't find the humor in it though. How could my own son think I was dangerous? I let a tear slip._

"_Edward?"_

"_Yeah"_

"_Am I not a good mom?" I cried_

_He looked p at shocked "Why in hell would you think that?"_

"_Ryan thought I was dangerous…"_

"_Bella no…"_

"_He thought he had to protect himself…from me"_

"_Stop it! That's not what this is about. He probably just got mad and wanted you stop"_

"_Still" I sniffed_

"_Remember when you were with the…Volturi"_

_I nodded, not wanting to remember._

"_Well Ryan protected you…Caius couldn't touch you, only Emmett, jasper, and I could get to you. He knows the difference sweetie, he just a baby a simple diaper change could set him off. It could've been me, you, Carlisle, or even Rosalie changing him and it wouldn't have made a difference"_

"_You always know what to say" I smiled_

"_You bet I do"_

I quickly fed him and brought him out in the other room. Abby was now playing quietly on the floor with her doll house. I went to sit on the couch next to Edward while I cradled Ryan close.

"There's my boy, I missed you"

"Did you find another vase?" I asked

"Yea, a very expensive vase"

"Since when is money an issue?" I laughed

"It's not, it's just that I have you and two kids to look out for now and I don't want to be spending it on stupid things like vases"

"Well we wouldn't have to if we were watching our daughter better"

"She's one, what do you expect?"

"You know that I'm right?" I said sarcastically

"You're always right love" he gave me a phony smile

"Uh huh, sure I am"

The rest of the day was pretty laid back. We ate dinner around the table even though I did most of the eating. The kids went to bed early so Edward and I curled up on the couch and watched a movie.

"I like having our own place" he whispered into my hair "So I can do this"

He leaned down so he was now hovering over me and he pressed his lips to my neck. Then he moved to my lips while I tangled my hands in his hair. And well, let's just say that for the rest of the night we reminded each other how much we love one another.

I could hear the phone ringing but I wasn't really awake. I turned over and buried my face into the sheets but of course Edward got up.

"Hello?" I heard him whisper "Renee? What is it?"

My mom? She would only call if something was wrong. I got out of bed, wrapping my robe around myself; I went to stand next to him.

"She's right here" he passed the phone over and shrugged his shoulders

"What's wrong mom?" I asked, getting right to the point

"I'm so sorry for calling so late but I have some very bad news. I think you need to get here as soon as possible"


	2. Plan

**Thank you guys so much for all the reviews! I hope you like the story so far. And please, if you haven't already, check out my new story "Split Second", and remember just the prologue is up so doing be discouraged yet!**

**And I forgot to add a disclaimer to the first chapter**

**I don't own anything**

"Oh Bella" she sobbed into the phone

"Mom please you're scaring me"

I turned around to see Edward leaning against the wall, staring at me intensely I could tell he was upset that he didn't know what was going on. The monitor sounded and he sighed, walking towards the nursery.

"I should've told you sooner but I didn't want you to worry with the new baby and…"

"Mom please you always do this. Stop beating around the bush and just tell me"

I walked back to the bed to sit down.

"Grandma isn't doing very well" she cried

What does that mean? A person could take that a number of ways. Was she seriously sick, or the kind of sick that she would have to be put in a nursing home, or worse was she…?

"Bella?"

"I'm still here" I assured

"She's sick honey, she has cancer and it's gotten worse but…"

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I could feel the tears starting

"She's had it for a while and _we_ didn't want you to worry. She went through treatments and she was in remission but it came back and she's stopped responding to treatments"

We were now both crying hysterically "She's come down with the flu and they don't know how much time she has left. She's been asking for you. She wants you here baby"

"Mom, I don't want to see her like that" I cried

"Please Bella, this isn't easy on any of us, but she wants you here. Can't you do that for her?"

I didn't answer and just sat with my head in my hands crying. My mom was never good on breaking news and even though I wouldn't have done it over the phone, I knew if she did it in person we'd both be hyperventilating.

"Bella, honey you need to come in the next few days. We need to prepare"

I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"I'll talk to Edward and I'll call you back" I told her

"I love you" she said

"I love you too"

I dropped the phone and just sat there. Everything was going so well. Why now, why her? What did she ever do to deserve this? I heard Edward come in but he moved slowly over to me. Seeing as I was staring at the floor and didn't even acknowledge him.

"Bella?"

I looked up at him, my lip quivering. He sat on the bed waiting for me to say something.

"I need you"

He looked confused but seeing I was obviously upset wrapped me in his arms.

"I'm right here Bella" he whispered I clung onto his shirt in a death grip

That was all he said and it was enough to calm me a little. He never asked and he knew not to force it out of me. His cell phone ran but he made no move to get it and I was grateful. I knew I had his full attention and the only way he could help me was to tell him.

After I explained what going on I just lay in his arms and cried. He was rubbing soothing circles on my lower back and I was staining his shirt with tears. His phone rang again and he still made no move to get it.

"You can get that you know" I told him

"You're more important"

Only seconds later the house phone rang. Edward sighed and went up to get it saying that it may wake the kids up.

"Hi Alice"

I sat up and wiped my eyes, going over to where the phone was. I knew Alice probably saw what happened and was worrying about me.

"She's…alright. Yeah I'll ask her"

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"They heard what was going on and want to know if they can come by?"

"Yeah it's fine, there are some things I want to discus anyways" I nodded

"Its fine Alice…okay see you in a few minutes"

"Edward my mom…well my grandma wants me there and my mom doesn't think she has much time left" I sniffed and got up to look out the window

"Hey it's okay… you need to be there, so we're going"

He came over and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"We'll get through this. I promise you, I'll be with you every step of the way. You won't be alone in this" he comforted me

I just nodded not finding my voice. I knew if Edward was with me, know matter what was going on, we'd get through this. I leaned back against him and reached up to stroke his cheek.

"I love you" I whispered

"I love you too"

There was a knock on the door and Edward left to go let them in. I could hear them mumbling at vampire speed and light footsteps as someone entered our bedroom. I turned around only to be met with a heartbroken looking Esme. She raced over and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry honey" she cooed rubbing my back

"I'm okay" I assured her

We walked into the living room to greet everyone else.

"Everything will be okay" Alice ran up to hug me

Once everyone was settled I went through explaining what needed to be done and we came up with a plan. Esme and Carlisle agreed to stay home with Abby and Ryan; in all honesty I felt better having them stay as opposed to Emmett or Jasper. Especially since we could be gone for a couple of days or even a week. The rest of the family would come up when the time came and we'd all go back together. So that's how the night ended. Edward, Alice, Esme, and I were going back in forth between bedrooms packing. Edward was packed before I even started so he went with Esme to pack the kids stuff while Alice helped me.

"So you'll need some shorts and I found the cutest dress shirt. Not that you'll be out and about, but these shoes match perfectly" she smiled holding up a pair of blue sandals

'They're great but don't forget the wake and…funeral" I hated talking about the funeral nonchalantly but it had to be done

"Bella" she sighed coming over to sit on the bed "Everything will be fine"

"I know so let's get back to packing" I stood up and went to pack my toiletries

I was suddenly grateful for Alice because I didn't really want to look at a funeral dress right now. Once I was done I walked out to the living room and saw Edward on the phone.

"Who's he talking to?" I asked

"The airport, seeing if he can get you guys a flight out tonight" Carlisle said

"Okay well how about a private jet…no I don't care what it costs we need to leave tonight, it's an emergency" he argued

I looked at Carlisle in surprise and anger. I don't want them to keep spending money on me. Why can't we just go tomorrow if there are no flights tonight? He doesn't need to rent a private jet for the night.

"He just wants to get you there as soon as possible" Jasper reasoned

Lucky for them, before I could argue more Ryan started crying.

"You guys never know when to stop spending money on me" I yelled before I rushed t o the nursery.

I wiped my tears as I entered his room, it was very quiet and dark but I kid of and gently lifted him from his crib. I quickly changed his diaper then sat in the rocking chair so I could feed him.

"I know you're too little to understand but sometimes daddy can be a little overbearing"

He gave a grunt in response and I grabbed his little hand in mine.

"I know he does it because he cares but I don't think he understands how much it bothers me. Maybe I'm just being stupid, am I? I know I should be there with her but I don't think I can see her like that. So helpless and sickly. The worst part is I know she'll never get to meet you. She would have loved you she loved your sister so much"

He pushed against me letting me know that he was still hungry so I moved him to my other side.

"But don't you worry I'll bring plenty of pictures and I'll tell her a bunch of stories. It'll be like she already knows you, I promise. She wants me there and I should be there, I think I'm just scared that's all. I don't want to leave you guys; I'll miss you too much"

I looked down and saw that he was asleep again I laughed

"Did I put you to sleep? I know you don't understand any of this but someday you will and I'll tell you all about your great grandma"

I leaned down to kiss his forehead and smoothed the little tuff of hair that was starting to grow on his head. I really didn't want to go back in the living room and be ambushed so I just sat watching my son sleep without a care in the world. I wish I could sleep like him sometimes. After looking at him for a while I noticed that someone was watching us and I looked up, my eyes locking with Edward's. I didn't say anything but he walked in and leaned down next to us.

"How much did you hear?" I whispered

"Enough" he said placing a hand on my thigh "Carlisle said you got upset"

"Because you continue to spend money on me and it's not fair. If we can't get a flight tonight, we'll just go tomorrow. There's no need to get a jet"

"Based on what you just told our son, you know that's not the case" he scolded

"I just feel like when we get there…we'll be too late" I wiped my eyes "I know we have to go tonight and I know once I'm there I'll be better. It's just the getting there that's the problem"

"We can go tonight if you want?" he whispered grabbing Ryan's other hand

I nodded knowing I really had no choice. Edward and I said our goodbyes to Abby and Ryan and I was glad we were leaving during the night. It made the goodbyes much less painful. After we called my mother to let her know what was going on, we loaded our luggage into the car. Emmett had volunteered to drive us to the airport so we were saying goodbye to everyone else.

"I promise you everything will be well taken care of here" Esme said hugging me and Edward

"You call us and we'll be on the next flight out" Alice and Rosalie both said

"Keep in touch" Carlisle kissed my cheek and Jasper was next to wish us goodbye

The ride to the airport was quiet with no jokes on Emmett's part. When I looked out the window I saw the jet waiting and Edward hopped out to greet the pilot.

"You okay Bells?" Emmett asked looking at me through the rearview mirror

"This is really happening huh? I'm going to see my grandmother on her death bed" I laughed "This certainly wasn't in the schedule"

"Obviously you're not. I'll be right back"

He jumped out of the car, saying something to Edward and brings our bags on the plane. Edward walked over and opened the door, leaning down next to me.

"Sorry love, Emmett's not good at dealing with emotions, you know that. Now come on we're ready to board"

I let him lift me from the car and we walked hand in hand to the plane.

"See you guys soon" Emmett hugged me and kissed my cheek before getting in the car and driving away.

"Okay. I'm ready" I took a deep breath and let the pilot help me onto the plane

It was absolutely beautiful. There was a food bar in the back with assortments of things, a fridge, and a TV. It looked like a tiny condo not a plane. I was suddenly happy we went this route.

"You like it?" he asked kissing my neck

"Yes it's very relaxing"

"Good, you need it" he grabbed my hand and led me over to the seats

Once we took off I took a nap for a couple hours and when I woke we watched some TV. There was no talk of my grandma or anything strenuous.

"I set up face time on my phone so we check up on the kids" Edward said after a while

I was now lying in his arms wrapped in a blanket.

"That's good I miss them already" I sniffed

"Me too love"

The seatbelt light came on, indicating that we'd be landing soon. I started to get nervous and my foot started tapping unconsciously. Edward looked at me concerned but said nothing. Once landed Edward grabbed our bags from the over head compartment, not needing my help. Once again the pilot helped me down and we wandered the airport for my mom. We looked everywhere but to my surprise saw Phil instead.

"Phil what are you doing here?" was I too late? Edward squeezed my hand in response

"I'm so glad you guys could get here in such short notice. Your mom's at the hospital we should head there now"

I looked at Edward to see if he picked up anything from his thoughts but his face gave away nothing. But he wouldn't make eye contact with me. Oh no this could not be good.


	3. Facing my Fears

**You guys never cease to amaze me with all your reviews, so thank you and enjoy the next chapter!**

**As most of you may have heard, something has rocked the Twilight world. Kristen Stewart was caught cheating on boyfriend, Robert Pattinson with her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders. Rupert is married and had 2 kids, which makes this worse. Both Rupert and Kristen have released apology statements and Rob had reportedly moved out of their house. I know we are all deeply confused and saddened about this but we need to move on….to read more head on over to**

** /profiles/blogs/us-weekly-scans-kristen-cheats-on-rob-plus-kristen-formally**

"What's going on? Are we too late?" I whispered when Phil was far enough ahead of us

I was on the verge of a panic attack. Knowing that we almost made it, but knowing I was too late to say goodbye. Edward squeezed my hand and looked at the back of Phil's head.

"I wish Jasper had come with us. If you don't relax, you're going to hyperventilate"

"Edward" I scolded

"Everything is fine, her illness had gotten worse and she had trouble breathing so your mom decided it would be best to bring her in"

"Oh no" I stopped dead in my tracks and started breathing heavy

Edward sighed but wound and arm around my waist to keep me walking. We made it to the car and we immediately climbed in back.

"Bells" Phil broke the silence after 10 minutes of driving down the dark road "I know this was a lot to take in over the phone. But you have no idea how much this means to your mom that you came out so soon. She wasn't sure if you'd be willing to come out, with the new baby and all. And in all honesty, I think she's taking this worse then your grandmother"

"They need me here" was my only response and it was the only thing I could think of

Thankfully Edward had been smart to get a night flight so we wouldn't have to worry about the sun, but I don't know what he planned to do for the time remaining. The rest of the ride was silent but when we pulled up to hospital I started panicking. I did the only thing I knew how and tried to think up valid excuses as to why I couldn't go in.

"Wait" I started "it's late. Won't she be sleeping, we should wait till tomorrow"

"She'll be up. She's been sleeping weird hours because of the chemo and your mom told her you were coming so…"

"Oh" I tried to sound relieved

Okay Bella it was time to stop being a baby and do this. That's your grandmother in their and she needs you. I've didn't come all this way just so I could turn back around. The longer I put this off the harder its going to be.

"You ready?" Phil asked leading us to the door

I nodded and grabbed tighter hold of Edward's hand.

"Stay" I whispered

"Always"

As soon as we walked through the doors the familiar smell of hospital came flaring up into my nostrils. From the cleaning products, the sick, and the elderly, the smell was almost too powerful and my nose wrinkled up in disgust. After an elevator ride up to the 4th floor, Phil led us to the last door on the right and I saw my aunt standing in the hallway on the phone. My little cousin Emma was sitting on her father's lap in one of the chairs. She didn't look that sad, but then again she was still too little to really understand what's happening. Once she saw me coming she jumped off her father's lap and ran towards me.

"Bella" she yelled and as she got closer I could see she'd been crying

She slammed into me and I felt Edward hold onto my back so I wouldn't fall over. She held onto my neck tightly, so I knew she must know a little about what's going on.

"Is grandma going to die?" she cried

"I don't know sweetie"

I lied right to her face, of course I knew. But I couldn't tell a 4 year old that her grandmother is going to die. Could I? No, that wasn't my job.

"I missed you and mommy said that we don't have to worry until the whole family shows up and you had to fly here. I think you live the farthest away"

"What did everyone tell you exactly?"

"That grandma is really sick and she's going to heaven with grandpa and all the angels"

"That's right sweetie"

She laid her head on my shoulder as I guided us towards the room. My aunt noticed me and quickly ended her call.

"Bella I'm so glad you guys could make it" she cried pulling me into a hug "Your mom's inside"

I went to pass Emma over but she clung on. "You'll see Bella tomorrow she's going to visit grandma and its past your bedtime anyways"

"It was good seeing you again" I said

"Maybe we can all get together and do breakfast tomorrow before we head back up here, bring back something for grandma huh?"

"Yeah that sounds nice" I agreed

"Okay well see you tomorrow"

I nodded and watched them as they walked towards the elevators. Knowing it was time I pushed open the hospital door. My mother was sitting holding her hand, silently crying. She didn't turn around when we entered but I took this time to look at the sickly woman lying in bed. I didn't even recognize her. She was pale, and really skinny. Her eyes were sunken in and her face had no emotion. It looked like if you touched her, she'd break.

"Mom?" I whispered

She wiped her eyes and turned towards me. She pulled me into a hug then Edward.

"I'm surprised you got here so quick" she laughed trying to lighten the mood

"Is that my grandbaby?" I heard a weak voice

"It's me" I whispered

My mom gestured for me to take her seat while she pulled Edward closer to her. I sat down and grabbed her hand noticing that it was cold.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better" she smiled "You look good"

"Grandma we're talking about you here, not me"

"Come on, people have been talking about me for days. I want to hear how you've been"

"I've got something to show you" I smiled

I wanted to show her a picture of Ryan and Abby. I knew it would cheer her up and take her mind off things for a little while. I turned to Edward to see him and my mom talking silently to each other. I caught onto a couple words like funeral, burial, and her will. I shivered at the thought of her lying underground.

"Edward can I see your phone?"

"Yea"

He walked over and handed me his phone while I quickly scrolled through the pictures till I found one of Ryan.

"This is Ryan" I told her putting the phone in front o f her

"Oh my goodness, he's a beauty, he looks just like his father" she grinned

I smiled and looked at Edward and my mom who seemed to be pleased. After a while we took a couple minutes sifting through other pictures. I never noticed it before but Edward seemed to have a lot of pictures. Most of them were of the kids but I was in quite a few too.

"You guys make such a beautiful family"

"Thanks" I smiled

I was suddenly glad we came. I was proud of myself that I could cheer her up just talking about how good my life was. I could tell she was getting tired and my mom took her seat back while I went and sat on Edward's lap on the other side of the room.

"Mom we're going to head home soon. But we'll back first thing in the morning with some breakfast"

"Alright"

And that's when she took a deep breath and had a coughing fit. I started panicking as did my mom who quickly sat her bed up and handed her water.

"Mom, take deep breaths" she told her "Bella go get a nurse"

I just stood there watching my mom try and calm her. My feet couldn't move. I heard Edward say something then he disappeared out the door. I felt a lump in my throat and bolted out the door. I leaned against the wall and started crying into my hands. No matter how good she looked for even a second. She could not escape the sickness. It was still slowly taking her life whether I made her smile or not. I heard the sound of feet running and I looked up to see a nurse rushing to the room.

"She had another coughing fit" my mother explained

I sunk down to my knees and I soon felt someone wrap their arms around me.

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better" he admitted

"Me neither" I picked my head up and he wiped my tears

He sat down next to me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I was suddenly mad that we couldn't go anywhere. We had to wait for my mom to bring us back to her house. I hated not having our own car.

"I want to leave" I stood up and started pacing

"Love, I don't have a car we…" Edward started

"I want leave now" I cried

I buried my face in my hands while Edward stood up and wrapped me in a hug. He knew nothing he could say would make this better. But being in his arms helped

"I can't stand here helpless and where's Phil? He's never around. My mom needs him the most right now…and he disappears"

"I think he's down in the café. Plus your mom needs you. Do you want to see the kids?"

I nodded and went to sit in his lap. I pulled out his phone that I still had and scrolled to the house number. Edward took the phone from me and held it out so we could both be seen. Lucky for us they picked up on the first ring and Carlisle's face appeared on the screen.

"Hi guys, I see you made it there okay"

"Yea we did we're at the hospital now" Edward informed

"How is she?"

I knew this question was meant for me "She's…holding on"

"I'm sorry honey, you just stay strong"

"I'll try" I forced out a smile

"Now I know you didn't call to see us… hold on a second"

He placed the phone down but was back in 2 seconds with Abby and Esme who had Ryan.

"Hi baby" I cooed

Abby's face cheered up as soon as she heard my voice. She reached over and taped the screen and I heard Edward laugh behind me.

"Mommy" she called out

"Daddy and I miss you very much, we'll be home really soon to see you"

"Have you been good?" Edward asked

"She's been nothing but trouble" Esme laughed jokingly

Edward laughed also "Okay well off to bed okay? Mommy and I have to go now okay? I love you"

"I love you guys so much" I smiled

Esme took Abby from Carlisle and disappeared up the stairs. I really missed them and we were only gone about 4 hours. I needed to learn to not be so clingy to them.

"Keep in touch. The rest of them are ready to head out as soon as you call. We'll see you guys tomorrow" Carlisle said before disconnecting the call.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down. My head lay back against his shoulder as I just sat their playing with his fingers.

"You okay?" he asked nuzzling his face in my neck

"I will be"

I heard shuffling inside the room then the door shut. I looked up to see my mom wiping her tears.

"She's sleeping. The nurse gave her a sedative to calm her down and put her to sleep"

"Has she had one that bad before?" Edward asked

"Not that bad. I hate to say it but it's just going to go downhill from here"

He nodded and kissed the side of my head

"What's our next step" he continued

"Keeping her comfortable and being with her. That's all we can do"

I could feel my mom's eyes burning into mine but I couldn't look at her.

"You ready to go?" she asked

Once again Edward answered for me and I felt him help me up from the ground and tow me towards the elevators. No one said anything, but then again what could you say? I stayed close to Edward because frankly, I probably would've started hysterically crying or screaming any minute. Like before the ride home was silent and I didn't make a comment when I saw Phil in the driver's seat. Always shows up at the best times. Once at the house, Edward brought in our bags.

"Mom I think I'm heading right to bed" I told her

"Okay sweetie, make sure you're up early for breakfast tomorrow"

I nodded and she pulled me into a tight hug.

"Everything will be okay, we'll get through this" she whispered

"I know"

I made my way up the stairs where Edward was unpacking our things in our old room.

"I'm heading in the shower if you want to join me"

"Yeah I'll be right in" he said turning to look at me

I walked into the bathroom and turned the water on hot. I was thankful that Edward had already unpacked my toiletries. I quickly undressed and jumped in the shower. I welcomed the hot water running down my back as it washed it away my worries. I quickly massaged some soap into my hair. I heard the door open and Edward stepped into the shower. I immediately wrapped my arm around his waist and he leaned his forehead against mine.

"I'm so sorry you have to go through this" he whispered

"Please, I don't want to talk about it anymore. That's all this trip is going to be about and I just want to relax with you tonight"

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. It felt so good to be alone with him. My fingers ran down his bare chest and I felt him shiver. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"I love you" i said in between kisses

"I love you too"

He moved his lips to my neck and I moaned softly at the sensation. I wanted him now and my body was reacting. I needed him to make me feel better, to take my mind off things just for a little while. My fingernails scraped across his back trying to pull him closer.

"Bella what are doing?" he gasped at my sudden aggressiveness

"Please, I need you" I breathed

"Bella" he moaned

"Please"

He lifted me up so my legs wound around his waist as he sat down on the bottom of the shower floor. One of his hands found my lower back while the other dug into my thigh.

My lips glued onto his as he took me on the shower floor.

**Hoped it was long enough for you guys! I promise to get going on my other story "Split Second". A couple of you have been asking when the next chapter will be up and I promise it will be soon, don't give up on me yet. Please review and make my day!**


	4. Letting go

**I want to do a lot more with this story and I didn't want the funeral and wake to drag over the course of 5 chapters. Hope this wasn't too rushed but like I said there's a lot more to come! Thanks for all the reviews and I hope you like the story so far.**

"Bella we should probably get off the floor"

I was still sitting in his lap on the shower floor while the hot water had recently turned cold. I didn't feel like moving though. I had finally gotten my mind off things-well at least for a little while.

"But I'm comfortable here" I whined

"I know but it's time for bed" he leaned over to shut the water off

"Round two?" I asked hopefully

He shook his head and I pouted. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. I followed his lead and he wrapped a purple towel around me.

"What with you, your hormones are crazy. Are you starting your monthly cycle?" he laughed

I slapped his arm "Don't talk about my womanly issues and no I'm not, next week"

"Mmm" he smiled and walked into the bedroom to get dressed

"My mom didn't hear us did she?" I was suddenly embarrassed

"I don't think so, though you are quite _loud _if I do say so myself"

My cheeks flushed a million different shades of red. Once I was ready I quickly brushed my teeth and jumped into bed. Edward was on the phone, with Carlisle I presumed. Though their conversation was getting lengthy, I was getting antsy. I scrambled onto his lap so I was straddling him. I squeezed his thighs and he groaned.

"I got to go…yeah I'll call you tomorrow" he placed his phone on the nightstand then grabbed my hips, only he surprised me by lifting me up and placing me beside him "Bed Bella"

"You're such a prude" I joked my eyes getting sleepy

"Uh-huh sure I am" he laid down so he was looking into my eyes

"How are the kids?"

"Fine I can tell Abby misses us though, Esme said she keeps saying our names and she's having trouble sleeping"

"Oh my poor baby" I sniffed

He leaned in to kiss my forehead and wrap an arm round my waist.

"They'll be okay now get some sleep. You've got to wake up early tomorrow"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

Breakfast went pretty well. Emma was pleased to see us. She said she was glad to hang out with someone she doesn't see everyday. And I was happy because having her around made things a little bit happier and it filled the void I had for my children. My grandmother had on a pink robe and was covered in blankets. My aunt was holding her head up as she fed her some eggs. Her skin seemed to have lost another shade and was even paler. She was worse.

"Hi grandma" I whispered

"Bella" she rasped

The doctor came in the room and asked to speak with us outside. My aunt stayed with Emma inside while we followed him out.

"I don't want to alert you but her vitals are getting worse. There's not much more we can do and her body can't handle any more treatments"

I took a deep breath and buried my head in Edward's chest.

"So what does that mean? Are we just giving up? I mean there's nothing else we can do?" my mom was in tears grasping at straws

I pulled away from Edward curled into my moms side, trying my best at comforting her.

"No I'm sorry, we've ran out of things to do. My only suggestion would be to just keep her comfortable"

"Mom?" I asked

"Come on let's go inside"

She released me and walked back into the room. I knew she was upset but she probably didn't want me to worry over just how much she was worried.

"Come on" I wrapped an arm around my husband's waist and towed him back into the room.

"Phil we need to go now" I head my mother wail

"Alright just let me wake up a little"

At first I thought I was dreaming but it all sounded too real. I rolled over to grab onto Edward but he wasn't there. Then I noticed that the bedside lamp was on and he was dressed. I squinted and rubbed my eyes wondering if I was seeing things.

"Edward what's going on?" I whispered

""Your grandmother's gotten worse, they don't know if she'll make it through the night"

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Couple hours"

I stretched and looked down at my hands. Edward walked over to pull me into a hug but my mom burst through the door.

"You guys need to get… oh you're already up" she sighed

She walked over to me and placed a hand on my thigh. I just continued to look down at my hands, not wanting to meet her gaze. Edward walked back into the bathroom.

"Bella look at me" she pleaded

I shook my head and I knew she was upset with me.

"Tell me what's wrong" she said sadly stroking my hair "I know this is tough but you've been a little off since you got here"

"I feel like I did this to her…" I cried

"What!" my mother cut me off "Isabella you did _not_ do this. Why on Earth would you think that baby?"

"Because when she got sick I should've been here. Maybe if I was here she wouldn't be so sick and she would have more reason to fight it. I should've been closer and now Ryan and Abby will never know her…I feel so guilty"

She pulled me into my arms and started rocking gently. I cried into her shoulder and I saw Edward give me an apologetic look through the open door.

"No baby no, you did not do anything wrong. If anything you made her better. She lit up so much when we told her you were coming and when she saw you. Baby it was like she was already in heaven"

"Promise" I sniffed

"Yes. Now come in we need to get to the hospital"

She kissed my head then released me before leaving the room. Edward took that as his cue to comfort me. He kneeled down in front of me and I fell into his arms. He didn't say anything but just having him close was enough.

"Come on love" he whispered lovingly

I quickly threw on some dark sweatpants and a t-shirt then ran down the stairs.

"Edward we're going to take separate cars in case anyone needs to head home. Do you mind driving? You can follow us" my mom said

"No problem"

She quickly handed him the keys and they were out the door without as much as a goodbye. Edward grabbed my hand and led me out towards the dark driveway. The ride there was quick and before I knew it we were walking towards her room. My mom entered without knocking and took her seat next to the bed. My grandmother looked worse-if that was even possible. It's only been a couple of hours. The guilt suddenly started to invade my mind again.

"Bella" I turned around to see my aunt carrying Emma in her arms "Can you sit with her outside? I don't want her to see her like this"

"Yeah sure" she quickly passed her over and ran inside

"Come on" Edward placed a hand on my back and guided me to the waiting room chairs

I was cradling her to me as I sat down laying my head on his shoulder and she clung on for dear life. The last hour had been a blur. I went from peacefully sleeping to sitting outside in a hospital waiting room.

"Can I go see grandma?" Emma asked sadly

"No we have to stay out here" I told her

She just nodded and laid her head against me, quickly falling back into her peaceful sleep. I wish I could fall asleep just to escape this nightmare for a little while. Different nurses and doctor's kept walking in and out and every time they did, I feared it was to deliver bad news.

"I think it's time to call everyone and tell them to start making arrangements to fly down" I whispered

He nodded and rubbed my arm soothingly "I was afraid of this coming so soon"

"I'm glad we came when we did. If we waited till tonight we might've been too late"

He shifted me off his shoulder so he was facing towards me. He gave me a concerned

Look and I was afraid of the talk that was coming.

"Did you mean what you said to your mom? Is that why you've been so…weird?"

"I believed it more when I thought about it. But saying it out loud to my mom made it seem like I was being selfish. Like her dying depended on me. That I'm the center of it all, the only one she wants to see" it felt good to let that out but after I said it, it sounded like I was even more crazy

"You don't really believe that do you? I don't like you feeling so insecure about yourself. You know everyone was happy to have you here, they all miss you" he stared down at the sleeping girl in my lap "Especially Emma. I've never noticed before but kids seem to be drawn towards you"

"They like you too, you know and I'm not insecure. I just always second guess my feelings around my family. Ever since I was little I always acted as the tough one" I shrugged

"You never have to do that with me"

"I know" I gave a timid smile

I heard rustling inside the room and Edward started moving uneasily in his seat. I sat up more, concerned that something was happening.

"Your grandmother is having some very morbid thoughts" he looked at me sadly "It's time love"

I nodded and he held his arms open, indicating that he'd take Emma. I didn't get why he was doing this, I really didn't want to he in the room when it happened.

"Edward I can't" I cried letting tears slip

"Yes you can"

Taking a deep breath I quickly gave him a kiss and made my way over to the door. I knew this time would come; now I just have to be there for my family. With that I walked in.

**EPOV**

Emma shifted from the change in skin temperature but didn't wake. I held her with such care as if it was Abby or Ryan I was holding. And just like Bella's aunt didn't want her in the room, I wouldn't want my children in there either. I could hear Bella crying along with Renee. I feel so bad that she has to go through this. She been under enough stress lately and the next couple of weeks were going to be even harder.

"Mom its okay you can let go now. You've done more then your fair share of fighting" Renee cried

I shook my head in sadness for them. I wanted nothing more then to have Bella wrapped in my arms while she cried. But I knew she needed to be with her family and I was more than happy to watch Emma.

"You take care of my great grandkids Bells" she rasped

"I love you grandma" she cried

"I love you too love bug"

And just like that I heard her heart take one final thump of life and never resume beating. I hung my head in silence as Bella, Renee, and her aunt cried relentlessly. I figured it would be a couple of minutes before they emerged so I quietly got up, keeping a firm hold on Emma. I went around the corner and dialed the house phone.

"Edward, Alice just saw. How's she doing?" Esme worried

"I'm not sure, she's in the room now" I told her "I assume you guys already started making arrangements?"

"Yes, Alice is on that right now. They'll be up in two days"

"Okay, thanks Esme" I sighed

"No problem honey. When you see Bella tell her that we love her and we're all so sorry"

"I will"

"Edward?" I heard a soft voice cry

I rounded the corner and saw Bella's tear stained face staring at me. Her aunt came over and grabbed Emma, cradling her closely to her chest. I ran- at human speed- over to Bella and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry love"

"I'm okay really" she tried to tell me but her fingers digging into my back told me otherwise

"Where's your mother?" I asked

"Talking to the doctor. I was going to stay with her but I couldn't… Edward she just closed her eyes and she…she was gone" she cried

"Shh, I know love. Come on let's go sit down" I held her close as we went back to the waiting room

She laid her head on my shoulder trying to take deep calming breaths but her heartbeat didn't slow.

"I want to go home"

"Okay well we did bring two cars so I can bring you back"

"No I want to go _home_" she hid her face in my shoulder and I could hear her sniffling

Renee and Phil emerged from the room looking 5 times worse then Bella. She came over and stroked Bella's back before taking a seat.

"The first thing we need to do is make arrangements for a wake. Lucky for us Phil's friends with the people at the funeral home, so we can probably set it up in a couple days"

"Will everyone have enough time to get here?" her aunt asked "I mean Edward your family has to fly in from Washington"

"Yes but they'll be here in time"

We stuck around for another 2 hours or so just making arrangements and crying every time someone brought up a memory. Emma's father finally took her home, saying that she didn't need to be here for this and needed to sleep in her bed. Phil was currently on the phone with the funeral home and they were stopping by in the morning to move the body for the wake. They had decided for a closed casket along with a proper burial next to her husband. At around 4 in the morning Bella's eyes were closed.

"Baby why you don't head home and get some rest" my mom said

"No, I'll stay with you" she protested

"No come on. You've been here for hours. There's nothing else you can do, I'll be home soon too. You need some rest" then she looked at me "Take her home"

I nodded and literally had to drag her out of the hallway. Once we got to the parking lot I just picked her up and then placed her in the car.

"I'm not going to be able to fall asleep" she yawned

"Well you can at least try" I gave her a small smile and grabbed her hand

On the way home she put the seat down to get more comfortable. I shrugged out of my jacket to lay it over her. By the time we got back to the house the light was already starting to break through the sky.

"Can you carry me in?" she asked

"Of course love" I laughed

I easily lifted her from the car and carried her in the house. It was very dark and lonely. It was very rare that we were ever alone but I knew now was not the time to take advantage of that.

"Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Yeah we can watch some TV"

Once upstairs I flipped the TV on and turned down the bed while she went to get ready for bed. When she emerged she was in _very _short shorts and a flimsy tank top. Was she trying to kill me? She jumped into bed and rested her head against my neck, wrapping an arm around me quietly slipping her fingers under my shirt. She traced circles on my skin and I did the same with her back slipping my hand under her tank top. I loved having skin to skin contact with her.

"I think my mom shut the air conditioner off"

"Are you sure you okay?" I asked

"Honestly I might have a nightmare tonight but I'm doing better then I thought I would be" she was looking at her hands again "But the next couple of days might be rough. Thank you for being here. You've been my rock" she nudged my chest

"You know I'll always be here" I leaned down to kiss her "I love you so much"

"I love you too"

And with that she turned her attention back to the TV never falling asleep.

Today was the day of the wake. My family was coming down today and in fact I had to leave to pick them up. Bella was going to stay here and get ready to head over to the funeral home early. She was currently in the shower after refusing to eat something…again. I did everything I could to get her to sleep, but no luck. I gave her a warm bath, warm milk, hummed her lullaby, and even rubbed her back.

"Bella" I opened the door to the bathroom and the steam poured out "I'm leaving now"

"Okay, I'll just meet you at the funeral home. We're probably leaving soon anyways"

I walked into to the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain back a little. Bella stuck her head out and gave me a look of disapproval.

"I'll be with you again soon okay? I'll call when I'm on my way back"

"Okay"

"I love you and please eat something or I will force feed you"

I pecked her quickly on the lips and she returned to her shower. Renee's door was still shut and I didn't want to intrude on them. They didn't get home till about 6 and it was already 9 in the morning. Anyways she already said I could take the car to go and pick them up. I got to the airport rather quickly. They took the earliest flight possible. I walked up to the gate just as my siblings were walking out.

"Edward" I heard Alice yell before she jumped on me "How's Bella?"

"She's…handling"

"Oh I can't wait to see her"

She wound an arm around my waist as I hugged Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett. I noticed that they were already dressed in their best; Alice must have known we were heading right over.

"Was she in the room when it happened?" Rosalie asked

I nodded sadly "Yep"

"She must've had horrid nightmares last night" Emmett sighed

"I wish she'd actually got to sleep. By the time I brought her back it was around 4 in the morning and I tried everything to get her to sleep but she was too scared" I explained "She warned me that she'd have nightmares"

"Poor Bella" Jasper sighed

We all jumped in the car and I pulled out my phone to call Bella. Luckily she picked up on the first ring.

"Hello" she answered

"Just want to let you know that I'm on my way. Are you guys there yet?"

"Yeah we just got here, Phil is setting up the picture poster boards and I'm helping bring the flowers in"

"Wait for me before you lift anything heavy. I don't need a huge flower pot falling on top of you. And don't stress yourself out; this is your day to mourn not to work"

"Edward I'm fine…and please I can't deal with your over protectiveness today. I like keeping myself busy" her voice was starting to shake

"Okay okay I'm sorry, just please relax and I'll see you in a little while"

"Fine" and with that she hung up

I knew she wasn't really upset with so I just let her express her feelings. But I knew I had it coming when I show up.

"She sounds mad" Alice said

We arrived at the funeral home in record time and people were already lining up to pay their respects. One in the parking lot I drove around to the back to park. Bella said there were spaces to park at behind the building. There was also a door that led right into the main room, so we didn't have to weave through the crowd. We didn't dress up in suits; we just wore dress shirts and ties.

"Are we ready?" I asked

The main hall was very elegant, there were people kneeling down by the casket and crying. I didn't spot Bella yet but my family went to go sign the guest book. While I waited I looked at all the pictures scattered around. Many were of her at her wedding and her kids. But I even saw many of Emma, Bella, and her other grandchildren. One picture of Bella standing in front of the Disneyland castle had me curious. She's never mentioned that before. I heard some laughter and turned around to see Emma and a couple other kids playing in the back room.

"Edward" Bella's aunt came up and embraced me

"I'm so sorry" I whispered

"Thank you" she sniffed and looked over at the kids "She still doesn't understand. She knows that she dies and went to heaven but she doesn't understand that she's not coming back. Emma stop horsing around and come say hi to Edward!"

She ran over and jumped into my arms.

"Hi, aunt Bella has been waiting for you. She's been crying a lot"

"Will you help me find her?" I asked

She nodded excitedly and my siblings walked over to introduce themselves.

"This is Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice"

"Thank you guys so much for coming, it means a lot to have Edward's side of the family here. Emma be good please"

With that she walked away and Rosalie was already fawning over Emma. I was concerned that Bella had been crying. I wanted nothing more then to hurry up and get to her.

"Bella!" Emma called

She turned around from where she was talking to someone and looked at us. She lit up when she s aw everyone and ran over.

"Edward's here" she wiggled to get down and she ran off to find the other kids

Bella pulled me into a hug and I kissed her cheek. My siblings then pulled her into a hug and said how sorry they were. Bella was wearing a very tight black dress that flattered her every curve. Her hair flowed flawlessly around her shoulders and down her back.

"I'm glad you guys could come"

Alice and Rosalie pulled her into a hug and that's when the waterworks started. They both rubbed her back and tried to soothe her but she suddenly pulled back and excused herself.

"Why don't you guys say hello to Renee I know she was happy you were coming"

I followed her to the bathroom where she was throwing up. I leaned down to lightly rub her back.

"Did you eat anything?"

"No" she whined

"Isabella…"

"Stop!" she yelled "Stop reprimanding me, I'm an adult. And for your information I tried eating this morning but I threw up again. I'm too upset to eat with all this stress. And even the smell of certain foods is making me sick. I'm _not _starving myself, I'm not stupid" she fell into my chest and started crying

"Of course your not stupid love. I'm not trying to be your parent I just don't want you to get sick, but by the sounds of it, you already are"

"I can't do this! I keep meeting people that I don't know and they tell me how big I've gotten and they miss me. Do you know what that's like? It makes me feel even guiltier. I need you more then ever right now. I need you to help me get through this" she was breathing in gasps and I wrapped my arms around her in a vise like grasp

"I'm right here Bella and I'm not going anywhere" I rocked her soothingly

"I don't think I'm going to be able to handle tomorrow"

I've been waiting and waiting for this to happen and I guess it was finally here. Bella was at her breaking point.

**Next chapter will be the funeral and the homecoming with Ryan and Abby! Can't wait to finally get this story going. Next thing I post will be the very first chapter of "Split Second" **

**Please review!**


	5. Finally Home

**Sorry guys, I was going to post this yesterday but a family emergency came up. Involving me having to baby-sit my little cousin. And its kind of hard to write when you're chasing after a two year old, but it's up today if that helps! **

Today was the day of the funeral and I was currently hunched over the toilet on the floor. This is the fourth time I've gotten sick in the past 12 hours. I knew Edward was starting to get worried but I kept pushing it off as all the stress that I've been under. But I knew something more serious was going on, I was just too scared to admit it. But obviously Edward wasn't getting the message.

"Just take the test" he groaned

"Why?" I argued

"Bella you know why" his head fell into his hands

"I am not pregnant" I yelled "I can't be"

"Please keep your voice down" he hissed "Your mother is right outside"

I sighed and went to sit next to him on the bed. I placed my hand on his back and rubbed his tense muscles.

"I'm just under a lot of…"

"Stress I know, but if you are pregnant-and I think you are- then I want to make sure your healthy. And you haven't been eating anything and…"

"I could just be coming down with something"

"I thought that too but all the symptoms are there"

"Like what?"

"Well for one, we just had sex not more then 4 days ago. You're throwing up, you missed you period, moody, nightmares, and don't forget that last night you complained about your breasts hurting"

"That could be anything"

He gave me a disapproving look and I knew it was true. Edward and I had created another little baby and great timing of I do say so. But our discovery had not had happy reactions like when we found out about Abby or Ryan. This was scarier, I was getting older and there were complications with Ryan. Not to mention that this would mean my change would have to be put off longer.

"Bella?" he asked breaking me out of my thoughts

"I'm scared" I admitted

He turned to face me and brought his finger under me chin, forcing me to look at him.

"I know love but the only way to find out is to take a test. Then we can go from there okay?" I nodded and he leaned down to peck me on the lips "We'll figure this out, please don't get yourself worked up"

"Can you go to the store now? I know I won't be able to go thought the day wondering" I whispered

"How about I go to the store while you go and keep your parent's busy. No need for them to wonder where I am"

"Okay"

With that he grabbed the keys and quietly scooted out the door. I was completely in shock. There was no way I could be pregnant again. No, this couldn't be happening. Especially now. Before I could get too lost in my thought I heard a knock on the door.

"Bella?" my mom called before she opened the door "Edward rushed out kind of fast. Is everything okay?"'

"Yea, he just said he had to run to the store" I shrugged pretending like I didn't know anything

My mom shook her head and smiled softly at me. I smiled back, not really knowing what to say. It was always so awkward when we had nothing to talk about. Luckily she broke the silence this time.

"You did well yesterday"

"It was hard but I got through it….having Edward and his family there helped. We talked more about the kids then anything else. I was a little distracted from what was going on"

"We'll I'm glad, Edward always seems to clam you" she laughed lightly

"Yea he does" I sighed "Today might be a little tough though"

She pulled me into a hug "I know but we'll do it. We'll have plenty of time to mourn later but for now we need some breakfast"

I nodded, strangely I was suddenly hungry. That was yet another sign that had my mind going to the word 'pregnant'. We headed downstairs and I settled for a small bowl of cereal and some toast, not wanting to over do it. Just as I was putting dish in the sink I heard the door open. Thank god, Edward was back.

"Good morning everyone" he greeted and I noticed he wasn't carrying a bag, good thinking since my mom would probably ask questions.

"Good morning Edward" she greeted back

He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, nuzzling my neck. I leaned back against him and closed my eyes.

"Well we should probably go get ready" I suggested

He nodded and we made our way up the stairs and into my old room-where we were staying. He shut the door behind him and pulled the plastic pharmacy bag out from under his coat.

"Here" he said handing me the test "I love you and I'll be here no matter what that test says"

"I love you too"

Grabbing the test out of his hand I rushed into the bathroom and did my business. I quietly called for Edward and together we sat on the bathroom floor, hands intertwined. Those three minutes seemed like hours. What were we going to do with another baby in the house? How was Edward gong to react to this? Happy? Sad? Afraid? I started tapping my fingers against his thigh impatiently. Finally Edward looked at his watch then made a move to get up. Without looking at it he came to sit next to me again.

"On three we look"

"Okay, one"

"Two"

"Three"

He flipped it over and there it was- the little pink plus sign. That little symbol sent a wave of emotion through me and my hand started shaking. I was too scared to look at Edward but I felt his hand against my head bring me closer to him.

"No I can't be, we can't deal with another baby right now. Edward I can't do this" I blurted

"I don't know what you want me to say. I know you can do this, you have two times already"

"How could we be so stupid" I yelled standing up in front of him "I mean you can't tell me you're happy about this"

"Why wouldn't I be happy?" he looked completely taken aback by my words "I mean sure…this wasn't planned and I'm a little shocked but I love being able to cherish our children Bella. I don't regret any of them. Considering we never thought we could have kids…this should be a happy moment"

I crossed my arms over my chest and sat on the side of the tub. Edward wasn't looking at me so I knew he must've been a little upset to how I reacted.

"Well at least we know you don't have issues getting pregnant" he laughed lightly

"It's not funny, this is serious Edward. What the hell are we going to do?" I cried

He got up and pulled me into a hug as I cried relentlessly into his chest. His hands rubbed soothing patterns up and down and I relished the feeling.

"Be happy at the idea of another baby" he smiled "Plus I like you when you're pregnant"

"What about my change?"

"So I'll be put off for another year" he shrugged

I pulled away from him and shook my head. I didn't want to wait. I wanted forever with him and I wanted it know.

"No…" I cried

"There's nothing else we can do, love... I mean I know you can't even be thinking about…"

"Absolutely not, I could never do that. I can't believe you'd even say that; nothing could ever make me get rid of our baby. Just because it wasn't planned doesn't mean I don't want or love it" I yelled

I saw a smirk forming on his face. I was livid, how on earth could he think this was amusing.

"Stop smiling!" I scolded

"Did you hear what you just said?" he asked

I went over what I just said in my head and was shocked. I realized that I did want this baby. No matter the circumstances Edward and I had created this baby out of love. It was a part of both of us and I loved it already. I already felt the need to protect it-I was its mother.

"Edward I love this baby" I whispered placing my hand delicately on my stomach

I heard him take a sigh of relief as my words fluttered out of my mouth. Walking over to me he placed his hand ever so gently so it was resting with mine on my stomach.

"This is really happening?" I asked

"I guess so" he smiled

I took a deep breath and a nervous laughed escaped through my lips. With shaking hands I reached up to quickly wipe away the few tears that have fallen. I reached up to rest my arm around his neck.

"Congratulations" he whispered

"You too. Are you ready to be a daddy again?"

"More than ready, what about you mommy?"

"Oh yeah I'm soo looking forward to getting fat and those torturing hours of labor I've got coming" I said sarcastically

"I love you" he laughed

"Me too"

And with that he leaned down to place a sweet and gentle kiss on my lips. He moved his hands to my lower back so he could hold me more closely. With all the excitement we didn't notice that my mom had knocked on the bathroom door.

"Are you guys okay in there? She asked

"Yeah mom, we'll be right down" I laughed since Edward was now kissing and biting up my neck. I smacked his arm but his hold on my waist just tightened.

"Okay well we want to leave soon, so don't be too long"

"Okay"

I heard her sigh and walk down the steps after another minute. I finally pulled away from my husband and leaned down to pick the test off the floor. I wrapped it in a tissue and threw it in the trash.

"You don't want to keep that as a souvenir?" Edward asked

"Eww no, my mom's nosy enough as it is, last thing we need is for her to find this in plain sight in the counter" I quickly washed my hands "Plus we need to get ready. Go jump in the shower"

"Will you join me?"

"Isn't that how I ended up in this predicament" I laughed gesturing towards my stomach

"Please" he pouted and who could say no to that

"Fine"

He smiled and went to turn the water on. We both undressed after I laid out a towel and Edward jumped in. He held my hand and carefully helped me in. his back was facing the water as it drenched his hair, sending droplets of water on my face. He wound his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his chest as he slowly rocked us.

"How are you feeling?" he asked

"Better now that I know what's going on"

"So when do you want tell everyone?" he asked after a minute

"I don't know but I want to wait a little while…at least till I'm 3 months or so. I'm surprised Alice hasn't seen anything yet"

"Either that or she's letting us do this on our own time" he shrugged "Are you sure you want to wait that long? What if we tell your parents first?"

"No" I shook my head "I want to enjoy this for a little while longer"

"Okay love"

He removed one of his hands and grabbed a bottle of shampoo; squirting some into his hand he gently massaged it into my scalp.

"How do you want to tell them?" he continued

"I don't know but we should be creative. I don't want to just say 'hey I'm pregnant'. But we have time to think about it"

I quickly rinsed out my hair and turned towards my husband, giving him a peck on the lips.

"I love you but we have to get ready. Hurry and wash up"

I went to take a step to get out but he grabbed me arm. I looked back at him confused for a second and raised an eyebrow.

"Be careful, I don't want you to slip"

"You worry too much"

I wrapped a towel around myself and quizzed the excess water out of my hair. I walked out the bathroom shutting the door behind me and went into our room. I brushed my hair out and through it up into a messy bun. I also got dressed in my slim black dress. While I was standing there I took in my reflection in the mirror. I cradled my still flat stomach and took a deep breath.

"Jeez Bella" I sighed

In a couple months I'd be the size of a whale once again. I turned to the side so I could assess myself. Ever so gently I pressed down on my stomach and sure enough you could tell there was a baby. Not enough to the point I was showing but to vampire eyes you could notice a difference.

"What are you going to do with another baby?" I continued to talk to myself My mind went right to Abby and Ryan who were still stuck at home without us. I wanted to tell them first before anyone else. My main goal throughout this pregnancy was to make sure they weren't left out. Especially with Ryan being so young he needed me. Plus Abby didn't seem too thrilled when her baby brother entering the house, imagine how she'd react with another sibling.

"Bella" Edward said wrapping his arms around me from behind "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I was just thinking" I explained leaning back more into his chest.

"About what?" he pushed

"Nothing in particular, just the baby mostly"

Okay I had a lot more than that going on in my mind, but the rest wasn't important. It didn't need to be dealt with right this second. He would just push for more information. Plus I knew he wouldn't question me further on saying I was just nervous about the new baby. Because that much was actually true. I turned around and saw that his eyes were racking over my body.

"What?" I asked

"Nothing you just look beautiful" he smiled

"You always say that"

"Because it's true"

The service went by in a blur. With all the mourning for my grandmother the attention wasn't on me. Every time someone hugged me or brought up a conversation, I would get self conscious that someone would find out. Luckily that wasn't the case. I cried… a lot during the church part. Thankfully Alice had passed me a pack of tissues and Edward tried very hard to comfort me. Of course my hormones didn't help the matter.

"Shh Bella, its okay" Edward whispered lovingly

Surprisingly Emmett, who was sitting next to me, rubbed my arm in a comforting manner. And I saw my mom give me a worried glance but I couldn't be bothered to meet her gaze. During the burial session I just stared blankly at the casket. Edward rubbed my back and kissed my neck.

"Bella" my mom called running up "I need to run to the store to pick up some last minute things for dinner tonight"

"Why are you cooking? You should be mourning and relaxing. We'll just get take out or something…"

I heard Edward growl and I elbowed him in the ribs. Know that I was pregnant he wouldn't allow me to eat anything that wasn't healthy. So my fast food comment must not have made him happy. But that's no reason to blurt that out to anyone.

"I insist. You guys are leaving tonight and its one thing that I want to do"

"Okay mom"

With that she ran off with Phil to go to the store. Edward grabbed my hand and we slowly made our way to the car, his siblings following closely behind us. Once in the car Edward turned up the heat and drove home.

"Are you ready to go home tonight?"

"Yes" I said simply

"I know you miss the kids" he continued

"I do and I want things to go back to normal, I feel like I've done nothing but stress and rush around these 5 days. I'm tired"

"I want you to rest tonight. Leave all the packing to me; you can sleep on the way home"

"Fine" I yawned and leaned my head back against the car seat

We pulled up to the house soon enough and Edward came around to my side to help me out of the car.

"Why don't you take a nap until your mother gets back so I can pack" he suggested as we made out way up the stairs

"What about everyone else are they coming back?"

"No, they went hunting and are just going to continue home from there"

"Oh okay"

I changed out of my dress and put on some soft sweatpants and a t shirt. I ran up and gave Edward a kiss and he leaned down to place a kiss on my stomach.

"Go get some sleep. I'll wake you up when your mother gets back"

"Kay"

I jumped into the warm sheets and curled myself into a ball, slipping my hand to rest on my stomach. I turned my head so I could watch as Edward packed up our things, making sure that he packed them nicely. When we were packing from our honeymoon I noticed that he just threw his clothes in the suitcase.

"Go to sleep" he said

I closed my eyes and I heard him continue to pack, occasionally zipping up a suitcase or bag. I think I actually fell asleep at one point because I heard shuffling downstairs and smelt something appetizing. I sat up and yawned glancing at the clock. Wow I slept for two hours, guess pregnancy this time around was already taking its toll. I gently eased myself out of bed and walked downstairs, I almost laughed at what I saw.

"Edward what are you doing?"

He was covered in sauce and flour and it was hilarious.

"I was helping your mother cook" he explained coming over and putting flour on my nose

"You're just in time Bella" my mom said placing a dish of chicken and pasta in front of me "I know you guys are leaving soon but I didn't want you to go on an empty stomach"

I sat down and began eating. I was surprised at how good it was. My mom never cooked like this when I was little.

"Bella, I just want to say how grateful I am that you came. It meant a lot that you _both_ came. I know it was hard for you to be away from the kids"

"It was more important for me to be here"

"I know, it's just… I feel like I never get to see you anymore"

"Mom you know I'm only an airplane ride away. You can come anytime; I know the kids would love to see you more"

It was true. Abby had only got to see her 3 or 4 times and Abby sees Esme and Carlisle everyday, it wasn't fair. Not to mention that Ryan has only seen her once.

"We'll maybe now that I don't have your grandmother to take care of, I'll come down more"

"I'd like that"

She pulled me into a hug and I debated quickly whether or not to tell her about the baby. But I quickly decided it wasn't the best idea…well not yet.

"Bella" Edward called "Are you ready to head out"

"Yeah"

I turned towards my mom and pulled her into a hug again. It was sad to leave but I was more than ready to get back to our normal life and see my babies. I am never going to leave them again.

Please try and visit more" I pleaded

"I will, I love you Bella" she whispered stroking my hair

"I love you too"

By the time the plane landed it was almost midnight and I was dead on my feet. Edward basically had to drag me to the terminal where we picked up a cab.

"I wish the kids were up" I sighed when he sat next to me

"I know but it'll be nice to just put them in their own bed and us to relax"

"You're right" he squeezed my hand and I leaned on his shoulder falling asleep once again. It seemed like seconds later when we pulled up to the Cullen mansion. The lights blazing onto the driveway, welcoming us home. I jumped out of the cab and walked up to the front door.

"Come on Edward" I urged him where he and the cab driver were getting our bags

I rolled my eyes and went to grab one from him but he gave me a disapproving look.

"I don't want you carrying anything"

"They'll get suspicious if you're carrying everything and I can't as much carry a simple bag"

He sighed and he knew I was right. If we wanted to keep this a secret for a while then we need to be very careful on how we act. Carlisle opened the door before we could even knock with a smile on his face.

"Welcome home" he pulled me into a hug

"Thanks" I smiled

"I know you don't want to see us the kids are on the couch"

I smiled and pushed past them to see Esme holding Ryan and Abby lying on the other couch with her stuffed teddy tucked under her arm.

"Welcome home guys" Esme whispered

"Good to be back. I missed them so much"

She smiled and carefully handed Ryan over to me. Having him in my arms was the best feeling. He was so warm and soft and curled right into me, as if he knew mommy was back and I was holding him. I hugged him more closely and kissed his cheek.

"I missed you so much you have no idea. Mommy's never leaving again"

Edward did the same with Abby as he laid a blanket on his chest and lifted her up so her head was resting against his shoulder. He rubbed her back as he kissed the top of her head, lips lingering. Seeing and knowing how much I we wished our children…well let's just say this new miracle will have a lot of love.


	6. Never Happy

"Edward!"

"What is it?" he called rushing into the living room where I was sprawled out "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you need to stop doing that" I placed my hand over my heart "You're going to give a heart attack"

I was about two months pregnant now and it was getting harder and harder to keep this a secret. Edward and I were spending more time away from the family. And when we were with them he tried not to be so over protective over everything I did.

"Sorry but you need to learn not to yell like that unless something's wrong. _I'm_ going to be the first vampire in existence to have a heart attack" he laughed sitting next to me

I placed my feet in his lap as he ran his hand up my leg.

"So anyways I have an idea on how we can tell them" he looked at me confused "We can buy shirts for the kids that say "I'm going to be a big sister/brother" on them"

"That's a cute idea" he laughed

"Yes so when we go over tonight we'll see how long it takes them to notice"

Edward walked into Abby's room and grabbed the pink big sister shirt we already bought her before Ryan was born. He laid it out on the table and went to grab a pink fabric marker out of the craft bin. Using his elegant handwriting, he scribbled the word 'again" under the words I'm a big sister.

"We can just write on a onesie for Ryan" he suggested "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"What, telling everyone?"

"Well that…but also another baby, I mean we're going to have 3 kids under the age of 3"

He lay back against the couch and I moved so I was sitting on his lap. His hands folded over my stomach, lovingly rubbing it.

"I know but we really don't have a choice, just promise to change me after this one, we don't need a fourth coming along anytime soon"

"No we do not" he agreed laughing

He surprised me by slipping his hands under my shirt, the coldness felt good against my somewhat bloated stomach. I relaxed into his embrace and I noticed that he was tracing my stomach until he found a stretch mark that hadn't faded from Ryan.

"What is it?' I asked reaching up to stroke his face

"You carried both kids in here and now this baby"

"And?" I laughed at the obvious he was pointing out

"All three of our children are kept safe, warm, and nurtured by you. They fully depend on you to keep them alive. It just amazes me that's all, that there's life in you"

"Are you okay?" I laughed "What's with the lecture?"

"Nothing" he nuzzled the side of neck

"Stop that tickles"

I started laughing as I stretched out on his lap, sliding off slightly. His fingertips moved to my sides as he continued to tickle me.

"Edward stop" I gasped out of breath

I fell off the couch bringing Edward with me as he cushioned my fall. We lay on the floor as he led down my legs and arms so I couldn't move. He laughed hysterically; he got a kick out of this.

"Please stop!" I begged, I hated being restrained

He didn't slow and instead moved to tickle my armpits. Was he trying to kill me?

"If you don't stop I'm going to pee my pants" I moaned

He finally got the memo and got off me, grabbing me by the waist to lift me up on my feet again.

"Sorry love, got carried away"

I straightened my hair out and went to use the restroom. We were leaving in a couple hours and my heart rate accelerated at the thought of telling them. Would they think we were over our heads, would they think we were irresponsible? I looked in the mirror and shivered at my appearance. I was beginning show signs that I was pregnant. My face was swelling slightly, my ankles looked like balloons, and my breasts were growing. I know they must have known something was up, I mean every time I saw them I would either hold one of the kids in front of me or wear a baggy shirt.

"Edward" I called "Do you think we should tell my mom over skype?"

"I don't know, what about your dad?"

I turned my head and saw him walking in with Abby clinging on his hip.

"I didn't even hear her get up"

My mind went to pictures of Edward holding another little baby while I lazily lounged on his lap. But then I went to what my dad would be thinking. Edward skipping out on us while I took care of all three kids and cleaned the house. Now that would never happen but I'm sure his mind would go right to that.

"Maybe we should tell your family first" I concluded

"Okay" he laughed walking over to kiss the top of my head

It was about 2 hours later and we were packing up to head to the big house. My stomach was doing flips, I was nervous on how everyone would take the news. Would they even understand what we were telling them? I finished dressing Ryan, lifting him up to kiss his cheek before handing him to Edward.

"It'll be okay" he whispered

"I know, I'm just scared"

"The longer we put this off the harder it will get" he said wrapping an arm around my waist

I unwound myself from him and went into the playroom to grab Abby off the floor. We had told her earlier in the day that she was getting another baby brother or sister. Ryan was still too little to understand. She was very excited when I told her the baby was in my tummy and kept placing her hands on it. It was honestly the cutest thing, but we'll just see how she reacts when the baby actually gets here.

"Bella, come on" Edward said poking his head through the door

"Yep"

I pushed myself off the floor and grabbed Abby's hand as we walked out to the car. Edward buckled both kids in while I cranked the heat up. Edward sat in the driver's seat and we were off. We would've walked but the wind was picking up and Edward didn't want us getting a cold. Once we pulled up to the familiar drive he shut the engine off. He grabbed my hand.

"Relax" bringing my hand to his lips

I took a deep breath and went around grabbing Ryan out of the car, Edward doing the same with Abby. We both made sure that their outfits couldn't be seen and preceded to the house. Right when he stuck the key in the locked I had changed my mind.

"I can't do this" I turned around and sat on the steps

"Bella" he gasped "What are you so scared about?"

"What if they think we're crazy, I mean three kids, maybe we are. What if they think we're bad parents?"

"Sweetie, they would never think that. Why would you even think that?"

"I don't know" And I really didn't, my mind just always thought the worst

"Then you have no reason to think that. Now come on, everyone's probably wondering why we're still out here"

I let him lift me from the ground and when we entered the house everyone was sitting watching TV. Rosalie jumped up and grabbed Abby from Edward while Esme took Ryan from me.

"Oh I missed them" She cried "I feel like you guys haven't been over here in ages"

"So what have you been up to?" Carlisle asked shutting the TV off

"Nothing much" I shrugged sliding onto Edward's lap

"Oh let's get you out of this coat" Rosalie coed

This was it; there was no turning back now. Edward wrapped and arm around my waist and he leaned his head on my shoulder. Rosalie and Esme continued to take the kid's coats off and my heart started beating erratically, it didn't help that I felt Edward move uneasily under me. Great that made me feel a lot better.

"Oh my" I heard Esme cried

"I don't believe it" Rosalie gasped

I looked up to see both of them covering their mouths in awe. Esme got up and ran over to pull me into a hug. I felt a sigh of relief run through me when I felt that her hug was loving and generous. She pulled away from me and flew right into Edward.

"Esme what is it" Carlisle asked

I looked around the room to see Jasper, Alice, and Emmett staring at Abby in awe and then they were running up to us.

"Read Ryan's shirt" Esme finally answered

Carlisle nodded and Esme held my son up so he could see.

"My god, congratulations"

"We'll everyone took it well" My husband laughed kissing my cheek "I told you so"

""I know, you're always right"

We had just put the kids down for the night and I was ready myself, it had been an exhausting day and we had stayed over the house till 8 and all I wanted to do was sleep. I could also feel a headache coming on. It was the baby's way of telling me to lie down.

"Edward, I'm heading to bed" I yawned patting him on the chest

"Are you okay?" he asked rubbing my lower back

"Yeah, just really tired, I feel like my head is disconnected to my body"

"Okay…" he looked a little worried "No more late nights for you"

"I'll be okay" I assured him

"Go lie down and I'll be in a little while. I just want to wash the dishes real quick and pick up a little bit"

"Okay"

I stumbled into our bedroom and changed into a pair of light sweatpants and a tank top. I jumped into bed and snuggled into the covers. We planed on going to my dad's tomorrow and skype with my mom to give them the news. I was happy how everyone else took it. Alice could wait to figure how to add on another room to our cottage. I laughed, by the time she was done, there would be a whole other addition the house.

"Goodnight baby" I whispered placing my hand delicately on my stomach

Sometime in the night I got a cramp in my abdomen and immediately sat up. I waited a couple of minutes thinking it was just the way I was laying but it happened again. I turned to see that Edward hadn't come to bed yet. Thinking I needed to stretch and walk around I lifted the covers off myself but stopped dead in my tracks when I felt something sticky in the mattress.

"Abby" I groaned thinking that she probably spilt juice in our bed

I turned on the side lamp to clean it up but when I brought my hand back up, it was blood red. Oh no, no. this was not happening, I was losing my baby. Not knowing I was doing it and the with shaking hands, I scrambled out of the room and ran into the kitchen. I heard the water running and he sighed when he heard me enter the room.

"I know love I'm coming"

"Edward" I cried

"What's wrong?"

He turned around and his face was frozen with shock. Me standing there crying with blood on my hands. He ran over and pulled me to him grabbing the phone on the process.

"No this is not happening" he panicked trying to dial fast enough "Carlisle will help"

"Edward stop" I cried taking the phone from him "It's too late, I lost our baby"


	7. Not Getting Over It

**Thanks for all the reviews so quick, and thanks for all your ideas. I love it, keep them coming. Don't get sad yet… just stay tuned!**

**Also, what did everyone think of the final Twilight movie? Did anyone cry, gasp, and yell at the screen in fury like I did? I want to know what you guys thought!**

**And Happy New Year!**

Edward wasn't listening to me; he was panicking and didn't know what to do. I couldn't even comprehend what was happening. All I knew is I was losing my baby and it was too late to stop it. There was nothing Carlisle could do, nothing Edward, I, or any doctor in the world could do. This was it, the baby I was so against having was teaching me a lesson. I looked over at my panicking husband and saw that his hands were now stained with my blood, our baby.

"Edward" I cried, my voice hoarse

"I need to call Carlisle; he'll know what to do"

"Edward" I begged grabbing his stained hands "Honey, it's too late. I lost our baby"

He dropped the phone from his hands and sunk onto the floor, his head in his hands. I dropped down next to him and placed my head on his shoulder while rubbing his back.

"I'm so sorry love. I should've brought you to the doctor's sooner, we should've at least told Carlisle so he could…"

"Hey…it's not your fault. Please…just… hold me"

I hated seeing Edward so broken but he needed to let it all out. He was always the strong one in our relationship. If we were going to mourn then we needed to do it together, without being bombarded by the family. Without saying anything Edward lifted me so I was placed in his lap. His strong arms wrapped around me as he soothingly rocked us. My tears didn't stop and I felt like his arms were keeping me together.

"Why don't I get you cleaned up, then we can call Carlisle"

"No" I yelled "There's nothing he can do and I just want to be alone with you tonight, please?"

"Love…" he sighed

I looked up at him with tear- stained eyes "Edward please"

He nodded and helped me get up, guiding me like a… child to the bathroom. He went and turned the bath water on, pausing to look at me. I looked away and wiped the tears that kept falling. I walked over to the sink and turned the water on, washing the blood from my hands. Even though they were clean after a minute I continued to scrub them. I heard Edward get up and pull me away from the sink.

"Hey sweetie, it's alright" he hushed bringing me around so my face was pushed into his chest. "Come on; let me take care of you"

As soon as I sunk into the bath, the blood surrounding my lower region submerged itself in the water. I let out a painful moan as I really took in what had happened. Edward didn't push me though; he let me hover above the water for a minute until I was ready to lower myself. With careful movements I cleaned myself with a washcloth while he scrubbed shampoo through my hair. As I ran the cloth over my stomach my hand froze and I started breathing heavy.

"Okay I think it's time to get out" He must have seen the expression on my face

He drained the water and lifted me out of the bath, wrapping a towel around my shaking shoulders in the process.

"I'll leave you to get dressed"

He gave me a warm smile but it didn't reach his eyes. I quickly put a pad on and wrapped a robe around myself. The last thing I cared about was getting ready for bed. Once I was ready I walked into our dark bedroom and over to the bed. I ran my hand over the sheet to see that a puddle of blood stained over the mattress. I started shaking again and dropped down to my knees in sorrow. Not more then 10 minutes ago my baby was safely growing inside me. Edward came in behind me and quickly removed the bloody sheet and tossed it to the side of the room, placing a new one on. He lifted me up with ease and I lay curled up, already letting the tears escape my eyes. I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare already. Not more then 10 seconds later I felt cool arms around me and lips on my head.

"This is all my fault" I cried "The baby was teaching me a lesson"

"What on Earth do you mean? You would find a way to blame this on yourself"

"When we found out I wasn't happy, I was mad and now the baby is giving me what I deserve" I was having problems talking through my tears

"No Bella, no" he hushed pulling me closer "This was a terrible ACCIDENT. This wasn't anyone's fault"

"I feel so helpless. There were complications with Ryan and now this. Maybe this just wasn't meant to be"

"What wasn't?" his hand stroked soothingly up my arm leaving goose bumps in his path

"You should have just changed me, right after I had Ryan and none of this would be happening. We would be happy and safe and together. I feel like I failed you"

"Bella, you listen to me. We will be happy and safe and in case you haven't noticed, we are together"

"But..."

"No buts. I'm not going anywhere and we'll get through this together"

"I don't want to get through this, we shouldn't have to. I just want to wake up and realize this was all a dream"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried relentlessly and I could hear him dry sobbing as well.

"I want to take you to Carlisle tomorrow…"

"No" I protested. I wasn't ready to tell anyone what happened yet

"Let me finish please. I just want him to make sure you're okay and there's no damage down there. Maybe he can figure out what caused the…miscarriage. So if we want to try again… we can try and prevent this from happening again"

"I don't want to try again" I said sternly "One you miscarry you're likely to never carry a baby to full term. I can't keep going through this"

"I know but you're forgetting the fact that the father is half vampire. Maybe we'll have some luck, it can't hurt to ask him and you're getting checked out either way. Even if I have to drag you"

"Fine but I don't want to try again" my voice shaking with every word I spoke "I can't put us through it again"

"Okay love we won't" he hushed "Just take a deep breath and calm down. You're going to have a panic attack"

"I'm sorry"

I repeated for the rest of the night until I fell asleep and it had a double meaning. Sorry because I almost made myself have a panic attack. And sorry because I lost our baby.

The light streaming through curtains woke me up roughly. I was not ready to face the day and deal with this loss. I was dreaming all night of everything being okay and Edward and I holding another baby. I didn't even open my eyes before I was crying face down into the pillow again. I was waiting for Edward to come and comfort me, but I realized I was alone. After a minute I sat up and wrapped my arms around my empty stomach, angrily wiping my tears that wouldn't stop.

"Oh god" I mumbled "I can't do this"

I stared down at my hands that were folded over my stomach. Not more then 7 hours ago our third baby was happily being nurtured by me. But that was all ripped away from me. I didn't want to face the family, I just told them we were having another baby and they were all so excited. I feel like I failed them again and again. There was a knock on the door and Edward poked his head through.

"Hey, are you doing okay?"

I just shook my head no, not trusting my voice. He sighed and looked down at the floor before speaking.

"The kids are awake. I'm going to go and make some breakfast"

"Uh…okay" I said shakily "I'll be down in a minute"

He closed the door and I unwillingly got myself out of bed. I slung my robe on and trudged the short distance into the kitchen. Abby was sitting in her highchair while Ryan was sitting in his bouncy seat on the counter.

"Mommy" she jumped up and down in her seat excitedly

Edward kept his back to me; I just assumed he didn't want to leave whatever he was cooking. I walked over to my daughter as she held her hands out, wanting to be picked up. I went to grab her but my back protested causing me to stop halfway.

"Jeez you're getting heavy"

"Careful Bella" Edward grabbed her out of my arms placing her back in the highchair

"She wanted me to pick her up" I whined

"I know but I have her breakfast ready anyways" he placed a small plate of scrambled eggs in front of her, handing her a fork she dug in

"Please sit down" he gestured towards the island

I could tell that he was stressed this morning. Usually I would walk into the kitchen and he would be the first to give me a kiss. But quite frankly I wasn't in the mood today either. Not wanting to cause any more trouble I sat quietly in the chair and ate my breakfast.

"Have you called Carlisle yet?" I asked

"Yes, he'll be over here in a little while. We'll have Esme watch the kids here, and head to the hospital"

"Does he know" I cried putting my head on the counter

"No" he placed a comforting hand on my back "I figured you rather not blurt this out to everyone yet-at least till we know what's going on"

I nodded and brought my dish to the sink. I heard Edward sigh, going to clean Abby up before placing her in the playroom.

"I don't know what to say to make you feel better" he said sadly

"Me neither"

I looked into his eyes as he stood leaning against the counter, looking at the floor. I couldn't be away from him any longer. Without thinking I ran at full speed towards him, slamming into his body and wrapping my arms around his waist. He seemed surprised for a second but I felt his arms wrap around me as well.

"I don't want this to drive a wedge between us. I need you more than I ever have right now and I feel like you're pushing me away"

I felt his arms tightened as he buried his face in my neck.

"I never meant to push you away and I'm sorry if it came off as that. I just don't know how to cope with this"

"We do it together" I said simply "Talk to me"

I knew he was about to say something but a knock on the door interrupted us. Edward unwound himself from me to let his father in. I walked over to where Ryan was kicking happily in his seat. I unbuckled him and cradled him in my arms, he smiled lovingly at me.

"With all the fuss daddy forgot to give you breakfast huh?"

I quickly got his bottle ready and popped it in his mouth, going to greet Carlisle in the living room. They were already sitting down on the couch and I went to join Edward.

"So what's going on?" he asked confused to why we asked him to come over alone this early in the morning.

"I had a miscarriage" I cried

No one said anything and my eyes focused on the bottle that I was feeding to my son. I reached up to stroke his cheek.

"Guys, I'm so sorry, when did this happen?"

"Last night" Edward said "About a half hour after we got back"

Carlisle sighed and looked at his watch "That was almost 10 hours ago, why didn't you call or bring her to the hospital?"

"It was too late" I whined "by the time I woke up there was a puddle of blood…and our baby… was gone"

By this point I was sobbing so bad that my hands were shaking. Edward took Ryan from my arms to continue feeding him. Carlisle moved from his position on the other side of the room to sit next to me. I found myself slowly leaning towards him till my head was rested on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry honey" he kissed the top of my head "will you let me do an ultrasound to check if everything's okay?"

"Will it hurt?"

"I would like to say no, but I can't be 100 percent sure, it will probably be uncomfortable"

"Do I have to look?"

"No Bella" he sighed sadly

I nodded thankful that I didn't have to be too involved with the check up. Without warning I started blubbering like an idiot, not caring who heard me. Carlisle seemed shocked by my outburst but tried his best in comforting me.

"I'm…such a…failure" I then looked up at my husband who was standing over us "I'm so…sorry…Edward"

He placed Ryan in the playpen near us and knelt down in front of me. He rested a cool hand on my knee, waiting till I met his gaze to speak.

"Stop blaming yourself" he wiped the tears away "I can't stand to see you this upset"

"Why don't we call Esme to come watch the kids and we'll head to the hospital okay? I think it will give us all a sense of peace" Carlisle said gently taping the end of my chin before pulling out his phone.

Edward took this opportunity to slide me over so I was sitting on his lap. He rested his head against my neck, peppering kisses. I was content for the moment just sitting there; it got me thinking about my change. I wish I was a vampire so I could run all the way to Canada. But on second though, if I was a vampire we wouldn't be in this situation.

"Esme's here, come on we don't want her asking any question yet"

Edward brought us right through the back door where Carlisle's Mercedes was waiting. He opened the door and we both slid in the back quietly. I looked around and saw Esme talking with Carlisle looking confused, probably wondering where we were going and why she was being asked to baby-sit, here, and alone. They talked for another minute until she made her way into the house.

"What did you tell her?" Edward asked as his father revved up the engine

"Something important came up that we have to take care of. I promised that everything would be okay"

I nodded and turned my head towards the window, watching the tress fly by us. I could almost feel Edward's eyes staring at the back of my head. Without thinking I rested my hand on my empty stomach silently crying for our lost son or daughter. Edward reached over and pulled my hand away, squeezing it lightly in his own.

"Bella" Carlisle started "When we get there, we'll just pretend were doing an ultrasound. I'll check you out and make sure everything's okay. That way no one has to know"

"Was Esme suspicious?" I asked

He looked at me through the review mirror "She knows something is wrong"

"I don't like lying to her" I cried

"We're not really lying love; we're just not telling her where we're going"

"I still don't like it" I huffed, Esme was like a second mother to me

"Would you rather have an audience in the ultrasound room?" he raised an eyebrow

I shook my head and moved to lie down on Edward's lap so my head was resting against his thighs. He placed his hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles. I knew he liked being close to me and right know we were the only ones keeping the other calm. To make me more comfortable he slid down in his seat so he could rest his head on the headrest.

"I wish we were spending our fist couple years of marriage different"

"How do you mean?" I didn't regret our marriage

"I mean it's been filled with so much sorrow and heartbreak" he paused for a second "You getting taken from me, almost losing you, Ryan not being as healthy as he could've been, your grandmother, and now this. It's not what I had planned for us love"

"That's why it's called life Edward. There is no plan; you didn't honestly think it'd be a smooth ride did you?"

"Smoother then this"

Carlisle pulled up in the back of the hospital so we wouldn't be seen. Sometimes it came in handy to have connections. Once parked in the small garage, I stumbled out of the car and Edward tightened the hold on my hand, nervous for a vampire. We were lead into a room and already knowing the drill I hoped onto the table and started swinging my legs impatiently. Carlisle went to plug in the ultrasound machine and dragged it over.

"No one will know we were here I promise. It won't even go on records"

"Good, I don't want Charlie finding out like that"

"Okay Bella you know the routine" the was no emotion in his voice

I scooted down towards the end of the bed and rolled up my shirt. Edward sat in a chair next to me and had my hand wrapped tightly in his.

"I love you" I whispered running my fingers through his tousled hair

"I love you too"

Carlisle flicked the machine on and placed the wand on my stomach. No one was surprised when silence echoed around us. Silent tears fell down my cheeks as the blank, silent screen. He moved the wand around just to be sure but there nothing, I was empty.

"Oh god" I whimpered turning my face into Edward's arm

He buried his head in my arm and together we sobbed for the baby that was no longer there.

"I'm so sorry guys" Carlisle said remorsefully "Bella can I check you to make sure there's no damage?"

I made no move to acknowledge him and instead turned my body so I was almost on top of my husband. He reacted quickly by picking his head up and wrapping his arms around me.

"Shh love" he stroked my hair lovingly

"I can't get over this" I sobbed heavily into his shoulder


	8. Sober

The mood was very somber when we returned home. Edward fished for the keys to our house and unlocked the door. It was still very dark, seeing it was still early. I stepped over the threshold. The warm air surrounded my face as I entered our house. Esme was sitting on the couch, her nose engrossed in a book. She smiled when she saw me but I just frowned in response.

"Bella honey what's going on?" she was in front of me in one second, hands on my shoulders

"Nothing" I wiped my tears

I heard Edward and Carlisle walk into the room and I turned my head away from Esme. Edward placed a hand on my back, rubbing softly.

"Everything's fine Esme" he told his mother

My eyes stared straight at out bedroom and I wanted nothing more then to curl up in the blankets and never come out.

"I'm going back to bed" I announced pulling away from them

"I'll be right there love" he sighed and I knew all eyes were on me as I left

I couldn't look in the faces of my family without having another breakdown like I did at the hospital. I wanted to be there for him this one time but I couldn't bring myself around to do it. It took Edward 10 minutes to calm me down and he had to carry me out to the car. I walked into Abby and Ryan's room, relieved that they were still sleeping. They had no idea of the horrors that had occurred only hours ago. Staring down at my baby girl I wanted nothing more to cuddle with her in my bed. I know I should've left her alone but I quietly lifted her up from her crib and cradled her to my chest.

"Mommy" she mumbled resting her head against me

"I missed you" I cried "Do you want to go lie in bed with mommy?"

Her hand dangled sleepily against her side and I laughed walking into the bedroom. I lay her down and wrap her baby blanket around her. I lay down next to her, placing my arm over her stomach.

"Mommy loves you so much, I'm so sorry that I can't give you another baby sister or brother"

I looked at her face but she was already sleeping. The door opened and I felt weight on the bed.

"They left" Edward whispered "Are you doing better?"

I shook my head no and focused my eyes on my daughter. I turned to look at him but he had an amused yet worried expression covering his features.

"I needed her close to me" I whimpered

Edward leaned down to kiss her cheek and then pulled his big gold comforter over all three of us.

"Everything will be okay" he whispered

"You don't know that"

He thought for a moment "You're right I don't, but I do know that it will get better. That I can promise you"

I snuggled up closer to my daughter and husband fearing what tomorrow would bring.

When I woke up Edward was gone but Abby was still next to me. The clock read 7:15 so He must have been getting Ryan up. Pulling myself out of bed I reached over to gather Abby into my arms. Her eyes were wide open and I could hear her little tummy growl.

"Let's go get you some breakfast huh?" I bounced her on my hip

Edward was already there cooking away. Ryan was in his bouncy seat on the counter and I placed Abby in her high chair.

"Good morning" I went up to wrap my arms around his waist

"How are you, love?"

"Much better"

"Go sit down, breakfast is ready"

He placed a plate of ham and French toast in front of me and gave Abby a small bowl with cut up pieces.

"Do you think he can have some?" Edward asked

"Yea just feed him small pieces though"

He nodded and pulled up a chair in front of his son, feeding him small pieces of toast.

"Are you planning on going hunting today? I asked

"No, not till next weekend, why?"

"I wanted to get out of the house for a little while. Maybe go grocery shopping or something?"

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, I rather go by myself"

He sighed and turned to look at me "I'd rather you didn't"

"I'll be fine Edward" I whined "I just need to clear my head for a little while. I have to go and get some food anyways"

"I don't know…"

"Please, it would really help"

"Bella"

"I promise I'll call as soon as I get there and when I'm leaving. I'll only be gone an hour"

"Fine but please be careful"

My ride to the store was pretty quiet; Edward let me use his Volvo, saying that it was the safest car. I quickly stepped out and grabbed a shopping cart. I quickly texted Edward to let him know that I had arrived safely and started my quest up and down the aisles.

What do I need?"

I grabbed some fruits and more jars of baby food, along with wipes, ice cream, and more eggs. A lady was walking next to me and she seemed to be about 5 months pregnant. I felt myself getting upset. My hands reached down to slowly rub my flat stomach as I looked down to see what aisle I was in. there was a bottle of vodka staring straight at me.

"You don't need to do this Bella" I told myself

Somehow I ended up reaching down and picking up the largest bottle. I knew I shouldn't do this but I felt this strong urge to let go for a little while and everyone drinks. It's not like I was an alcoholic. I quickly paid using the gold platted credit card Edward gave me. This way no one asked any questions. I quickly drove home, tempted to open the bottle now but knowing Edward wouldn't be pleased if I got in an accident. I already knew he'd be upset about the vodka. When I pulled up into our rock driveway I quickly looked through the windows of our house to make sure he wasn't waiting for me.

"You'll feel so much better if you drink it" I gave myself reinforcements

I quickly unscrewed the bottle and started chugging it down as quickly as I could. It burned my throat and the taste was awful but I wanted to forget about my life for just a little while. I could feel my hands going numb so I knew I must've been getting pretty drunk. I felt like this wasn't doing anything, maybe if I drink more. Before I knew it there were only about 4 or 5 sips left and I felt like I was going to puke. I laid my head on the steering wheel and closed my eyes.

"Much better" I sighed shaking as I lifted the bottle to my lips once more

All of a sudden the door was wrenched open and I heard a gasp. Edward caught me red handed.

"What the hell did you do?" he exclaimed

"I was just having a drink" I slurred

"How much did you drink? I swear to god if you were drinking and driving- Bella so help me god you better not of"

I moved to take another sip but he snatched the bottle from my hands before I could. He was really mad and I don't blame him.

"Did you drink all of this?" he asked eyeing the rather large bottle

"Yes" I cried burying my face in my hands

He seemed to soften up a little bit at my out burst and placed a comforting hand on my back.

"What were you thinking love?"

"I was just shopping and I saw this lady and she was pregnant. Then I saw the bottle…I just wanted to erase what's going on for a little while"

"This is _not_ the answer" he stressed

"I know" I furiously wiped my tears away

"You reek of alcohol, you going to need a shower"

"I don't feel so good" I felt like death, I don't know why people thought this was fun

"I have a feeling you'll be throwing for quite a while" he said sadly "This is a first for us. I never thought I'd see you drunk"

"I am not drunk" my words slurred

"Bella"

"Maybe a little" I surrendered "Ugh, great what was I thinking?"

"Why won't you talk to me?" he pleaded stroking my hair

"Because I don't know what's wrong"

"Let's go inside then" he hushed

He helped me out of the car but my legs gave out and I almost fell.

"Maybe I should carry you" he laughed "You're going to have a hell of a hangover when you wake up"

He brought me into our bedroom and laid me on the bed. My eyes were already closing as he removed my shoes and jacket.

"I'm sorry" I cried

"I'm sorry too" he leaned down to kiss the top of my head "I'm sorry that you felt this was the only way to help"

"It's not that I can't talk to you…" I suddenly felt awful about myself

"I know, love" he laughed slightly "Try and get some sleep, we can talk more lately okay?"

I nodded and he shut the door, shutting the lights in the process. I never fell into a deep sleep, but I move restlessly tangling in the blankets. I could already feel the headache coming on and I grabbed a pillow to throw over my head. I heard Ryan crying and Abby yelling, Edward probably wasn't too happy that he was looking after to cranky kids while his wife was asleep, drunk in the other room. Eventually they quieted down and I heard a kids TV show playing in the living room. I think I fell asleep at some point because when I woke up it was strangely and my head was pounding.

"Edward" I whispered

He was in the room the next second and crouched down next to me

"My head" I moaned "Why is it so quiet?"

"I just put the kids down for a nap"

I sat up so my knees were hanging along the bed and I buried my face in my hands, ashamed. I started crying again not wanting to look at him.

"Love" he placed his hands on my knees "You're okay, just take deep breaths"

It wasn't working and instead I got up and ran into the bathroom. I felt like my stomach was coming out of me. My throat burned and I heaved horribly. Edward rubbed my back and held my hair back. Knowing I wasn't going to be done for a while I rested my head on the toilet sear, waiting for the next round.

"What was I thinking?"

"You weren't, you just wonted to rid yourself of life at the moment. This was the way you had to do it. Know you know this wasn't the answer"

"Never again" I cried and my head turned back into the toilet

That's how I spent the rest of my day, on the bathroom floor puking my guts out. Edward would check up on me frequently but he had to entertain the kids once they got up. He brought me in a pillow and blanket after the first hour once I told him I wasn't moving until this was over. Every time I threw up he would lecture me on what bad judgment I had and that I should talk to him. I guess it was better then having him yelling or ignoring me.


	9. Accident then Miracle

It's been about a week since I've gotten drunk and things are getting back to normal, well sort of. Edward and I talk just about every night. Our feeling, fears, or just about anything that was on our minds. I had to admit that it was helping; it was like our own form of therapy. Edward was bringing Abby outside to play while I tried to get Ryan to sleep. He had been up all night with a cough and we didn't want it to turn into a full blown cold.

"How is my little man?" Edward whispered coming to lean down next to me

"Tired" I laughed quietly as we looked down at our son fighting with his eyelids

I rocked him gently as Edward stroked his cheek.

"He doesn't feel warm"

"No but he doesn't want to eat either"

"Daddy" Abby yelled running into the room

Ryan jumped and started crying, clearly not happy with his sister's yelling. I stood up to rock him and Edward grabbed Abby in his arms.

"Hey, why are you yelling? You just scared your brother; mommy was trying to get him to sleep"

"Outside" she said pointing towards the door

"Okay, calm down" turning to me "I'll just be in the front yard, call me if you need anything"

"Okay" I laughed setting Ryan in his crib

The Cullen's finally found out what happened and why we've been so distant. We had gone over the other night to explain it.

_Edward sat next to me squeezing my hand as I took deep breaths trying to calm my racing heart. The family had all gathered into their large living room waiting for us to talk. As soon as we walked through the door Alice started talking about adding an extra room for the new baby. It took everything I had in me not to cry, though she knew something was wrong._

"_What's going on?" Alice asked_

_My eyes wondered over to Rosalie who had Ryan clutched to her chest while trying to rock him to sleep. Esme was helping Abby eat a chocolate chip cookie that they made earlier._

"_Bella?" Edward whispered nudging my arm with his shoulder_

"_Well you all know how I've been acting so…distant lately?" I continued once they nodded "Well after I told you I was pregnant, later that night I had a...I had a...mis…I had a miscarriage"_

_My face fell into my hands and I started to violently shake with sobs. No one said a word; I think they were just in shock. Edward surprisingly didn't lean over to comfort me and when I peeked at him, he had his hand over his face, leaning against the arm of the couch. Rosalie passed Ryan over to Emmett a wrapped me in a hug._

"_Bella I'm so sorry" she sobbed "Don't worry everything will be okay"_

_Alice's small frame hugged my knees but I tried desperately to hold my emotions in for the sake of Edward. By the looks of him, he was breaking down. He eventually got up, grabbing Abigail, and walked into the kitchen. _

"_He won't talk to me" I whispered to them "This is the 3__rd__ time he's gotten up and walked away. I feel like he can't deal with this. His only option is to walk away from the situation"  
I got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen to follow my distraught husband. I found him leaning up against the counter while silently rubbing his daughter's back. He looked up when I came in, at least that was something._

"_We can't keep doing this" I crossed my arms over my chest "We need to talk this out"_

_He sighed and moved Abby to his hip and opened up his arm to me. I smiled slightly and walked into his embrace. _

"_You're right love" he placed Abby on the floor when she started to fuss "You knew, from the first day I met you that I'm not good at expressing my feelings"_

"_No you're not but I know it would make you feel better"_

_He held me around the waist but one of his hands rested on my stomach and he rubbed it softly. I let a tear slip and it fell onto his hand. He was staring at my stomach like he was waiting for something to happen. Sadly we both knew that wasn't true._

"_Edward, we need to except the fact that this happened and to do that we need to talk about it"_

"_I love you" he whispered, resting his forehead against mine "So damn much"_

"_Then agree with me that we need to talk…together" I pleaded _

"_Agreed"_

I was pulled out of my daydream by crying.

"Bella!" Edward called panicked

I ran out of the room, thinking that something was wrong and when I got out there I was right. Edward was holding Abby on the ground, one hand on her forehead the other on her lip. She looked traumatized as Edward was rocking her and kissing her hair. I ran over to them and immediately saw that she was screaming and struggling to get up.

"What happened?" I asked panicked

"She was running up the path and she tripped. I had my back turned for one second and I heard her fall but I couldn't get there in time. I'm a vampire for crying out loud and I can't even watch my own daughter without her getting hurt"

"Edward it's okay, she'll be fine" I tried to calm him "Kids fall all the time"

He pulled his hand back from her lip and I could see that it was split open and gushing blood.

"Oh god" I gasped cupping my hand under her mouth

Edward pulled his other hand back and right above her eyes was a huge blue and purple bruise with a cut that was also bleeding. He placed his hand right back on her head trying to control the swelling.

"That's a big bump" he hissed

"Let's get her inside" I said grabbing her out Edward's arms and cradling her to my chest.

He ran ahead to the kitchen while I set her on the counter going to wipe her lip. After I got most of the blood off, Edward kept a firm grip on it so it would stop bleeding.

"Do you think she'll need stitches?" I asked

"If we can get the bleeding to stop then no" he said lifting the cloth to check "Looks like it's slowing already"

"Concussion?" I continued

"Her pupils look normal and she didn't hit her head that hard"

"Mommy" she cried reaching out for me

"I'm right here honey" I hushed sitting her on my lap

After she knew I was holding her, she barely moved as Edward cleaned the cut on her forehead and rested his hand there. She must've been really scared and in a lot of pain.

"Jeez, people are going to think I'm beating her"

"Edward!" I gasped appalled

"It was just a comment Bella"

He cleaned the kitchen up, ridding any traces of blood while I ran a bath for her. When I tried to put her in she clung to me. I ended up having to sit on the side of the tub washing her hair and body. She flinched when I gently ran the cloth over her eye. I also noticed that she had a scrap on her knee, but it didn't break the skin.

"I want to put some Neosporin on her eye, get rid of any bacteria" Edward said walking into the bathroom.

"Look" I held out her leg so he could see

"Aw my poor baby" he sighed running his fingers over it lightly

I wrapped her in a soft blue towel and Edward carefully rubbed the medicine in and stuck a band-aid on. He then helped me put her in some fleece feet pajamas. She looked like she was about to fall asleep, it was her nap time after all.

"Edward, hand me a brush"

He spun grabbing the baby brush on the counter. I lightly ran the brush lightly through her curls and she seemed to like it.

"She is not going to feel good in the morning" he sighed kissing her head and taking her off me

"Mommy!" she cried out again

"I'm going to get you some milk then I'll lay down with you okay?" I cooed quietly

I quickly rummaged through the fridge to get her a drink and hurried back to our bedroom. Edward was lying down, rubbing her stomach as she continued to cry. I turned the T.V on and put a movie in while I sat on the bed.

"She's half asleep" he whispered

She took her drink from me and scrambled into my lap. I brushed her hair back and wrapped my arms around her. Edward tucked her blanket and stuffed teddy under her arm as her eyes drooped.

"She's very clingy to you" he observed

"She just wanted mommy" I shrugged "I think she was just scared"

He moved closer and leaned his head on my shoulder also rubbing Abby's leg. With both of her parent's near her, she drifted into a peaceful sleep.

"Edward can you grab me a tissue, her lip is still bleeding a little" I wiped the blood with my finger tip until he came back.

While I was waiting my head felt like it was floating and my vision was blurry. I rested my head back on the headboard and took a deep breath. Edward came back and handed me a tissue.

"Can you make me a sandwich or something please?" I asked "I haven't eaten anything all day"

"Yea sure" he leaned down to give me a kiss before sprinting out of the room

My eyes moved down to my daughter who was fast asleep and curled under the blanket. I carefully placed her down next to me and left the room, shutting the door behind me. I found my husband in the kitchen making me a sandwich.

"Able to escape?" he laughed once he head me

"Yeah, she's knocked out"

I took a seat at the island and he sat next to me, placing my food down. He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on my shoulder.

"I love you" he whispered

"I love you too"

I turned my head so I could delicately place a kiss on his lips. It's been a while since we were so close with each other. He's tried, but I always tell him that I'm tired or not in the mood. With that thought I hesitated against his lips and he pulled back.

"I feel another therapy session coming on"

"No, I'm fine…I just" I shrugged

"You can tell me. Come on, we've taken a lot of steps forward. Don't start going backwards now"

"Sorry" I muttered

Tears started falling down my face and I heard him sigh and curse before he lifted me off the seat and into his lap.

"I'm sorry, love. It seems all I'm doing lately is causing tears to roll down that beautiful face of yours"

"I thought I cried myself out by now" I sniffed "Nothing's wrong, I just realized that we haven't been that close in a while"

"I know what you mean. Why don't we go lay down together. I think you could use a nap anyways"

"Yea sure"

Once in our bedroom I changed into a light purple nightgown and turned Abigail's movie off. Edward carefully picked her up from our bed and tucked her into her own. I noticed him looking over her lip and eye.

"Any better?" I whispered

"Bleeding stopped but it's going to look worse tomorrow. Remind not to bring her in public until this heals" he cracked a smile, leaning over to kiss her

"I don't like you making those types of jokes"

"I'm sorry that was the last one"

I jumped into bed and curled myself into a ball. I heard Edward close our bedroom door and lay down next to me. I sat up on my elbow so I could see his face.

"Ryan okay?"

"Yeah he seems to be breathing better and he doesn't have a fever. He'll be fine, just a stuffy nose"

"Take that off" I whined tugging at his shirt

He smirked and it was off in one swift movement. I ran my fingers over his sculpted abs and he shivered. My hands then moved down the button of his jeans.

"Bella" he groaned

"We're married, we're allowed" I laughed

"You know that's not what I meant by that"

"Come on, I want to cuddle with you"

"Okay then you next. I'm not the only one that's going to strip here"

He reached over and lifted the hem of my nightgown up above my head; I was just left in my bra and panties. His hand rested on my thigh as we both just relaxed. We haven't had skin to skin contact in a while. His arm wrapped around my shoulder to bring me closer and my eyes eventually closed.

"Bella?" Edward called "Are you ready to go?"

I rolled over, almost forgetting that we were visiting my father today. We had told him about the miscarriage and he took it almost as bad as Edward and I did.

"That was a nice nap" I laughed

The ride to Charlie's was quiet and peaceful. The kids were awake and alert and I was in a better mood.

We got out of the car and Charlie was already by the door waiting to greet us. Edward handed me Ryan while he had Abby.

"Hi sweetheart" he smiled pulling me into a hug "How are you feeling?"

"Better" I answered simply

Once Edward walked in with Abby, Charlie immediately gasped

"What happened to her?"

"She fell outside; believe me when I tell you it's not as bad as it looks"

The rest of the day went by rather smooth. The kids were well behaved and Ryan was taking his nap in the playpen we left here and Abby was with my dad outside.

I moved to sit down since I was feeling light headed again. I just thought it was because I didn't each much, plus having to take care of Ryan all night. I put my head in between my hands and took a deep breath.

"Bella" Edward called

"Mmm" I groaned

"What's wrong" he sat down next to me rubbing my back "Do you feel sick?"

"Just really light headed and dizzy"

"This has been going on for a couple days; I hope you're not coming down with something"

"I don't feel sick just…tired"

I moved to lie down on his lap and his hand went to my forehead.

"You don't feel warm" he observed

I turned so I was facing his stomach and ran my hand over his cotton shirt. His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer. His hands continued to rub my back, lolling me into a light sleep. Suddenly a sharp pain shot through my back but I kept still for Edward's sake. Right after it passed I felt the most unbelievable movement in my stomach. I stilled as I took in what it felt like. A baby, it felt like a baby kicking. It was the same feeling I had when pregnant with Abby and Ryan, it was the most amazing feeling. I started crying and Edward's hands froze as I sat up.

"What's wrong?" he asked

I just shook my head, wiping my tears and placing his hands on my stomach. Confused he tried to resist.

"Edward feel" I pleaded

"Bella, honey, I thought we were getting past this. There is nothing…"

He shut up and I knew we both felt it as another soft flutter occurred. He looked the same way I'm sure I did, shocked. We were both there when I was bleeding uncontrollably. We were both there when Carlisle confirmed that our baby slipped from us. But there was no denying that something or someone was now growing inside me.

"Edward"

"I don't believe it" he shook his head, a small smile appearing "It's a miracle"


	10. Accepting My Fate

**Here's the next chapter, I'm going to skip around to different time frames to get the story moving more quickly. If you don't like it like that then let me know and I'll change it. Thanks for everyone sticking with me! Please review, I keep losing reviewers!**

"Bella I don't see anything"

Our heads just stared at the screen in sorrow. There was no denying that both Edward and I had felt some movement. Carlisle wasn't too convinced as the screen showed that nothing was there.

"Are you absolutely sure you felt something Edward?" he asked

"I'm sure"

He spent another minute moving the wand around but nothing showed up. He probably thought we were crazy or something. I knew that we felt something so why didn't we see it? He finally shut the monitor off and handed Edward a napkin.

"I don't know what to tell you. There is nothing there, not even I trace of the miscarriage. Maybe you just wanted a baby so bad that you really believed you felt something"

I sat up and pulled my shirt back down

"I'm not crazy" I cried I sat up and pulled my shirt back down and Edward stroked my back

"I didn't say you were. I think that you just wanted something so bad that…"

"Carlisle, we both felt something. Not just a nudge but a kick" Edward was just as desperate as I was

"All I can say is that if you feel it again then let me know"

Back at our cottage I was sitting on the floor with the kids while Edward was out hunting. He was opposed- well more like outraged when I told him I wanted to be left alone. I told him that I needed space and I was more then capable of taking care of myself and our children. Ryan was a splitting image of Edward. His hair was a perfect tousled brown, and his eyes were beautiful. No doubt Edward looked like him as a baby. Abigail looked like him as well, with her golden eyes and flawless skin. Though she had my hair and behavior, she was just as clumsy.

"Ryan look at mommy" I waved a block at him "Come help me build"

He just smiled and threw the block at the tower that I started for him. Abby thought this was funny and started throwing her blocks as well.

"Hey, stop that" I scolded, this child needed some serious discipline

She hasn't shown any signs of a special gift but Edward's been trying to control Ryan's shield. He's still too little to understand it, but Edward taught him the word 'danger', and if said his shield will expand. The washer buzzed and I lifted myself off the floor to get the laundry. Usually Edward did all the housework-since he was faster- but I needed to do something. Ryan started whining, so Abby must have been torturing him.

"Hold on baby I'm coming"

I quickly placed the clothes in a basket and raced back to the living room. Abby was picking Ryan up by the arms and dragging him around the living room.

"Don't pick him up like that" I grabbed him from her "You might hurt him"

I placed him in the playpen with his blanket, hoping he'd take a nap. I then turned around to pull Abby into my arms.

"Why don't you come and help me fold daddy's clothes"

I placed her on the bed and dumped the basket full of clothes on her. She laughed and started kicking them off. I wish we had more moments like this with them. Her head was healing and it looked more like a bruise now. She found her blanket in the mess and wrapped it around her, closing her eyes.

"Tired?" I cooed

She nodded and placed her thumb in her mouth. I cradled her in my arms and brought her into her room.

"Well this is good, both of you taking a nap at the same time. Maybe daddy and I will get some alone time"

I placed her in her crib and turned the night light on, closing the shades. I leaned down to kiss her in the forehead.

"Daddy?"

"He went out; I'll have him give you a kiss when he gets home"

She seemed satisfied with my answer and rolled over to face the inside of her crib. We really needed to get her a big girl bed. But it's not like we would need a crib anymore.

"I love you" I whispered

I walked back into the living room and of course Ryan was passed out in his playpen. I leaned down to pick him and brought him into his room. I was surprised when he didn't stir at all. I quickly shut the door and continued putting clothes away in the corresponding rooms. I went back into Ryan's room to put his clothes away when I felt cold arms wrap around my waist and I jumped.

"Edward, don't do that!"

"If you knew it was me then why did you jump?" he laughed

"Because you scared me"

"I'm sorry" he nuzzled my neck "Both kids taking a nap at the same time- that's a new record"

"I told Abby you'd come in to give her a kiss when you got home"

"Okay, go wait in the living room; I want to talk to you"

I just looked at him weird as I watched him disappear into our daughter's room. I grabbed a blanket out of the closet and curled up on the couch.

"I'm surprised" he whispered after I minute "We never get alone time"

"I told you I could handle them by myself" I scoffed crossing my arms

He sighed and sat on the couch next me and I curled up in his lap.

"I never said you couldn't. I just like it when my family's there if something goes wrong"

I shrugged it off and scooted closer to him. He wrapped the blanket closer around me and his hand played with a strand of my hair.

"So about yesterday…" he started

"What about yesterday" I countered

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that again. I just don't understand what happened… I mean we both felt something"

"Carlisle was probably right like he always is. We just wanted it so bad that we thought it was really happening"

"It just doesn't make sense"

"It will all work out in the end" I smiled lightly "So did you find anything good to eat?"

"No, just a couple elk and a cougar"

"That's good"

"So both kids are asleep and we're all alone. What should we do?" he joked

"I can think of a few ideas"

His body hovered over mine and his hand tangled in my hair. My lips never left his until I needed to breathe. He held me so carefully and I loved the contact between us.

It's been about two weeks and nothing's happened. We were beginning to think that Carlisle was right and we just imagined it. Edward wasn't too convinced though, he was sure that I was still pregnant.

"Both kids are fine mom" I laughed "Abby's talking a lot and getting into everything. Ryan is just like Edward"

"Oh I miss them both so much. I bet Abigail is just a little mischief. You were at that age"

"She is, believe me. We went out to eat the other night and Edward ended up chasing her through the restaurant. We defiantly won't be going out to eat anytime soon"

"Oh that's just the cutest thing" she laughed

"How are you doing?" I asked

"I'm alright, it's hard sometimes but I make it through. You know, everyone still talks about how happy they were that you guys came"

"I'm happy that we did"

"How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay…"

"Are you sure, you went through something that might take a while to come to terms with"

"Mom, I'm okay. Edward and I have been talking a lot and it's really helped"

"That's good"

"When are you going to come visit?" I desperately needed to change the subject

"I'm not sure baby, but soon"

Edward walked into the room with his coat on and nodded towards the door.

"Hey, mom I got to go. We're taking the kids to the aquarium today"

"Sounds like fun, send me pictures okay"

"I will, call you later?" I laughed

"Of course… I love you"

"Love you too, bye"

"That sounded like it went well" Edward said

"Yea it did"

"Ready to go?" he asked

"Yep"

I grabbed my coat on the rack and grabbed Abby's hand. She looked so cute in her pink rain boots and raincoat. Edward was holding Ryan and he had his dinosaur coat on. We walked out to the car and we each placed them into their car seats. Edward put the strollers in the trunk and handed the kids juice cups before climbing in the front.

"Are you ready to see some fish?" I asked

"Alright let's go" Edward smiled

The ride to the aquarium was short and a huge dolphin hovered the archway leading into the park. I haven't been here in since I was little and I was excited to be here. Once we got the kids out of the car they looked up in amazement. Thankfully it was cloudy out today so there weren't that many people here.

"Okay what first?" I asked after we got settled

"Um… we can go to the tanks and see the sharks, dolphins and fish"

We walked up to the tunnel and suddenly we were surrounded by marine life. Beautiful assortments of colored fish were all round us.

"Mommy"

I turned and saw Abby pointing at a shark

"That's a shark" Edward smiled kneeling down next to her

"Scary" she laughed hiding her eyes

"Don't worry; daddy won't let it get you"

She giggled and put her hand up against the cloth. Edward looked a little wary having her that close but he didn't make a move to pull her away. I pushed Ryan to where a crowd of people where laughing at something. There was a dolphin that was swimming right by the glass.

"Aw look baby" I cooed pointing towards it

His eyes never left the dolphin as it swam right up to us. I loved being able to bring our kids out like this. They both enjoyed just being a family and having me and Edward by their sides. After an hour of checking out the frogs and penguins Ryan yawned.

"You can't be tired already" Edward smiled kissing his forehead "I have something else planned for the day"

"Like what?"

"You'll see, why don't we get some lunch before they fall asleep"

We switched and he held Ryan while I pushed Abby until we found a little stand that had hot dogs and burgers. Abby ate rather quickly while I tried to get Ryan to eat his mashed bananas.

"I really want to know what you have planned"

"You'll find out soon enough" he smirked

"You're such a tease"

The park was getting crowded as the day went on and the kids were getting restless. I guess after 3 hours of looking at fish they were getting tired.

"Bella, can you follow me please?"

"Okay"

He led us into a back room where 2 staff members were standing by a pool. Sitting right in the pool was a dolphin.

"Edward" I gasped covering my mouth "You didn't"

One of the staff members was in the pool and gently petting the dolphin.

"Mommy fishy" Abby cried

"I see"

Edward knelt down and the dolphin screeched with excitement. I'm surprised it didn't try to swim away from him.

"Okay just hold your hand in the water" the women grabbed Ryan's hand to help him pet it

His face lit up and he laughed when it squirted water at him. I followed them and the other women grabbed Abby from me to help her. I sat next to Edward on the side of the pool and grabbed his hand. Both Abby and Ryan looked so happy and I was so thankful that he had arranged this.

"Thank you" I whispered

"You're welcome" his smile lit up his face

I noticed that another staff was holding a camera and getting the whole thing on tape. At least we would have a memory of this. I was surprised when the dolphin swam over to us and literally came out of the water towards me.

"Whoa" I laughed reaching out to run my hand across the smooth blubber

Edward laughed and held onto me as I leaned back a little. The dolphin made an unusual squeal and pressed it mouth right on my stomach.

"I'm sorry" the women nudged the dolphin away from me

"No it's fine" I assured them and turned to stare at Edward

He looked just as confused. There was no way that was an accident and we both knew it. It was hard to pull the kids away but it was getting late and they were tired. We got them each a stuffed dolphin and I t-shirt. I smiled as the both fell asleep walking back to the car. The ride home was definitely quiet so that meant Edward could talk.

"That was rather odd" he said after pulling out of the parking lot

"Yep" I nodded

"You know that wasn't a coincidence. Dolphin's are very smart; it could be a good sign…"

"Edward…just stop it, please! It doesn't mean anything. Just stop… stop thinking that I'm pregnant and stop looking at me like my stomach is going to swell up like a balloon any second. You heard what Carlisle said and I wish you would just accept it. You're making this harder on us" I cried wiping my eyes

He didn't respond and I just continued to stare out the window. He sighed and concentrated on driving, obviously upset with the way I was acting. We pulled up to the in the next hour and I helped him get the kids settled in for the night but no words were spoken, not even a look. It was only 4 o'clock and they'd probably be up all night. I quickly jumped in the shower and let my mind wander to something other then babies for once. That's when I heard Edward slam the front door shut on his way out. When I hurried out the shower to look for him he was sitting on the porch, head in his hands.

"Edward?" I called

The wind blew and I wrapped my towel around me tighter. He didn't make a move when I sat next to him on the step. I noticed that he had the baby monitor clutched in his hand and I smiled at that. Even when he was angry, the kid's safety was always first. Although he could probably hear them from a mile away.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't mean to yell at you like that... I'm just trying to get over it and you keep bringing it up"

He didn't make any acknowledgement that he heard me so I decided to continue.

"I wish you would try and get over it too…"

"Bella stop!" he growled "You don't need to try and make me feel better about myself. I'm sorry for making you feel like that"

"I know you want this so bad but it just wasn't meant to be"

"Yes, but my feelings and assumptions haven't changed on the matter" he countered

"I know" I whispered

He placed his hand on my thigh then his eyes grew wide. I blushed when I noticed I was still in a towel and my hair was soaked.

"Get back inside, you're going to get sick!" he scolded lifting me up

I rolled my eyes at him and hurried into the house.

I was lying on couch reading _Wuthering Heights _yet again. Things have been pretty boring lately. I've been really tired and Abby has decided that she doesn't like sleeping at night anymore. She learned to climb out of her crib and Edward found her in the kitchen trying to get her juice cup. Wanting a snack I moved to get up when I felt it. There was a strange fluttering in my stomach again.

"Edward" I yelled "Come here, hurry!"

My hands were shaking as they lay over my stomach. The kicking was more intense this time and it wasn't stopping. He rushed into the bedroom a panicked expression on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"I swear it's not in my head this time. Our baby is alive and well"

He walked over slowly and placed his hand on my abdomen. His face lit up and I knew he felt it too.

"I feel it" he gasped in wonder

"It's real, it always was" I cried

"But how?"

"You're the one with 3 medical degrees" I laughed

"I love you"

"I love you too"

He placed the most delicate kiss on my lips, yet it held all the passion I needed. Our lives had been filled with many up and quite a few downs. We've had quite a few downs in the last couple months. Looks like fate was in our hands tonight and I was okay with it.


	11. New Doctor?

**Edward's POV**

The picture rested carefully between my icy pale fingers. I've been staring at this picture for over an hour now. I memorized every detail to engrave it in my mind. The thin piece of paper held everything that I needed and wanted. Arms snaked around my naked chest and lips kissed my neck. Her skin was warm due to the blankets she's been huddled under.

"Come lay down with me, I can't sleep without you near" my wife whined "You've been staring at that picture for an hour"

"Sorry…I just still can't believe it"

Bella took the picture out of my grasp and looked at it for a minute before placing it on the nightstand. I glued my lips to hers and lowered her back on the bed bringing the covers with us.

"Me neither but you can look at the real thing for hours in nine months"

Carlisle had finally come to a conclusion on what had happened. It was true that Bella did have a miscarriage but she _is _pregnant. She was pregnant with twins…yes _twins_ and one fetus was not fully developed. The second baby was still too small to monitor and wasn't showing up on the screen until today. Since Carlisle had printed out the ultrasound picture I haven't stopped staring at it. We haven't told anyone yet but I'm pretty sure Bella can't hold off much longer.

"I can't wait" I whispered against her lips

After she found out one of the twins didn't survive, it took me a while to calm her down. As always she thought it was her fault and she could've done something to prevent it. I had to remind her that she was still carrying our baby and everything would be fine. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Bella's fingernails running up and down my sides. I did the same and ran my fingertips along her upper thigh causing goose bumps. Even in the dark she was the most beautiful sight.

"That tickles" she laughed taking her lips off mine

I laughed and moved so my head was lying in the crook of her neck. I felt her smile against me and run her fingers through my hair. I started to kiss up her neck but I heard Abby moving around. I stopped my movements, pushing away from my wife.

"What's wrong?" she asked sitting up

"Our daughter climbed her way out of the crib and is on her way to the kitchen" I laughed getting up

"I didn't hear her"

"You were quite distracted love" I tapped the end of her nose

I smiled as she turned around and curled herself in the blankets and closed her eyes. As I made my way through the kitchen I saw that my daughter wasn't only smart enough to escape her crib, she managed to get the fridge open.

"What are you doing out of bed?" I called to her sternly

She jumped at the sound of my voice and started jumping up to reach her juice cup. I sighed and walked over to pick her up.

"Juice" she whined still reaching

"No juice, you can have milk" I rubbed her back lovingly "It's way past your bedtime"

I grabbed a spare sippy cup from the cabinet and filled it with milk. It smelt absolutely awful, I couldn't believe she actually drank this. I brought her back to her crib and tucked her in.

"You need to stay in here. No getting out of your crib okay?" I cooed "If you need something you tell daddy"

I leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek and she was asleep before I left the room. I went to check on Ryan and was pleased to see him sleeping peacefully with his green and blue blanket tucked around him. I made my way back to our room and of course Bella was already snoring.

"Jeez I'm all alone tonight"

I climbed back in bed trying not to disturb my sleeping beauty next to me. I hesitantly reached out to rest my hand on her stomach. She shifted on her back and her stomach was straight up in the air. I carefully rested my ear above her and I could hear our baby's tiny heartbeat.

"Nine more months" I whispered

Nine more months until I could hold our last baby we would ever have together. There was no way Bella was going to hold off on me changing her after this. Our kids are immortal and I would not let her miss out, I wanted us to be forever. Looking at her peaceful face I wish at some times I could sleep. Escape life for just a little while. I reached up to stroke her cheek and she shifted under my hand, opening her eyes slightly.

"Whoa, did I fall asleep?" she yawned

"Yeah, but it's the middle of night you're allowed" I laughed stroking her hair

"True" she sighed closing her eyes again

"Bella?" I asked hesitantly

"What Edward?" her eyes remained shut

"Do you think that I'll be able to handle another baby? I mean I can barely keep a handle on Abigail. She's climbing out of her crib and walking around the house and she gets into everything. What if Ryan and his shield get out of control? What if the baby has some super power that I can't handle? It's been a while since I've held a newborn, what if I hold him/her too tight?"

I took a deep breath as I let my insecurities roll off my chest. Bella sat up and I could feel her eyes burning in the back of my head.

"Where the hell did that come from?

"I'm just nervous" I put my head in my hands "How could I not be?"

"Honey, she's in her terrible two's what do you expect?" Ryan shield is in control because of you. If the baby has a special gift then we'll deal with it then… and since when are you scared of holding a newborn?"

"Since now"

"You'll be fine love, I promise you that" she placed her hand on my back and smoothed out my tense muscles. "You have your whole family and you have _me_. You're not doing this alone"

"I know but I already feel like I failed this time. Bella, you had a miscarriage and it resulted in the loss of our baby. Maybe if I'd taken you to Carlisle sooner it could've been prevented"

I felt Bella's hands leave my skin and I turned to face her but I saw she had gotten very upset when I mentioned her miscarriage. Her eyes began to leak of never ending tears, her breath becoming uneven.

"I'm sorry sweetheart" I scooted over so I could lean my head in the crook of her neck "I didn't mean to make you upset"

"I'm okay" she whispered

I leaned over to grab a Kleenex and helped her wipe here eyes dry. She surprised me by ripping it from my grasp and doing it herself.

"I didn't mean to touch upon that subject" I countered

"I'm fine, Edward" she said more sternly "Can I go back to bed now, please?"

"Of course"

She crawled away from me and covered herself in the layers of blankets that were on the bed. I moved to lie next to her but I could tell she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. She was just avoiding the subject all together. This was a rarity in our relationship when she pushed me away. I knew I just had to give her time and she would come around too let me in. I have a long night ahead of me and it was only 1am. After a while she did fall asleep but by that point I could see the sun start to rise over the clouds. I watched her toss and turn knowing it was a nightmare she was having. She started whimpering about the baby and I knew she needed to talk to someone. If _my wife_ could trust her husband to talk to her about this,then who would she trust? I leaned over to comfort her but pulled my hand back quickly.

"Dada" Ryan cried

I hurried out of bed and went to grab him. He was the only one who had slept the whole night through. He was sitting up in his crib and I was surprised when his shield was surrounding him. I went to grab him and his shield dropped once he was in my arms. I looked around and listened but I didn't hear or sense anything threatening.

"Hey what is it buddy?" I asked him "Huh?"

I peeked in on Abigail to make sure she was fine then turned back to my son. He seemed unaware of what he'd just done and that had me nervous. He couldn't just go around flashing his shield to people in public.

"Let's go in the living room while we wait for everyone to wake up huh?"

I plopped him on the floor where the kid's toys still hadn't been cleaned from the day before. He grabbed the blocks and started stacking them. He surprised me by building a pretty sturdy tower. It scared me how much his mind was developed at such a young age. I ran my hand through his hair just watching him.

"You are growing up right before my eyes" I lifted him on my lap and kiss the top of his head

"You're excited for a new baby right?"

"Baby?" he asked turning his head to look at me

"Mommy has a baby in her tummy and daddy's scared" I admitted to my son

"Scared" he repeated

"So is mommy"

I turned my head to see Bella leaning up against the wall. He arms were folded across her chest and I wondered how long she was standing there before I noticed.

"But we'll get through it" she continued

Carlisle, Esme, and Charlie were currently at our house. He said he had something to tell us. I handed Bella a glass of water and took a seat next to her, rubbing her arm.

"I want to talk to you about your options"'

"What options?" I asked

"I'd like to recommend Bella to a high risk prenatal doctor" he said slowly

"What?" she gasped sitting up "I thought everything was fine. I want you to be my doctor. You're the only one I trust"

"I know sweetheart, but I've never had to deal with something like this before. I'd rather you be in the care of a doctor that has done this many times before and knows what to expect. You know I wouldn't mention it unless I felt like I could trust them with you"

"Bella" Esme spoke up "We think of you as our daughter and we'd never do anything to endanger you and our grandchild"

"Bells you have to trust that Carlisle knows what he's talking about. If he feels safer having you see another doctor then…" Charlie added

"And I'll still be there, it's not like I won't have any input"

"I trust you" she sighed leaning against me "Hey dad, I have some left over pasta in the fridge I can heat up for you"

"Sure Bells, that sounds great"

She got up and walked into the kitchen Charlie hot on her tail. I turned back to mother and father.

"Everything is fine right?" I asked

"From what I know she is completely healthy. We'll know more in a couple days when we go and met with doctor Mills"

Do you trust him?"

"I do Edward, I've known for years and he's had experience with this before"

Esme came over and rubbed out the tension between my shoulders I leaned my back on the sofa and rested my eyes.

"She'll be okay son" she sighed

"Why can't she just go through a normal pregnancy?"

"Because the father is a vampire"


End file.
